I am the entertainer
Been all around the world
I've played all kinds of palaces
And laid all kinds of girls
I can't remember faces
I don't remember names
Ah, but what the hell
You know it's just as well
'cause after a while and a thousand miles
It all becomes the same
--Billy Joel, 'The Entertainer'
Road blog: Streetlife Serenade
I have a window seat at a coffee shop in the red-light district of Amsterdam watching the hustlers and low life’s saunter by. The bums, the visitors, the Nigerian scam artist running their games, the local girls selling their bodies for empty promises and quality sativa, the businessman selling out their marriages for the local girls’ bodies and quality Indica. Like a piano playing an old western rag evil dances by every glance of everyday right before our eyes stroke after stroke painting a speckled picture of vibrant colors mixed with dull dark overtones; it’s what makes life both disgusting and beautiful.
Coffee is my favorite drug, and one that is approved by the heavens. God himself blessed the island of Hawaii with the world’s best coffee beans, and even here in Amsterdam I found a place with a Kona brew, as somethings are worth searching for; like the CWF world title, redemption, salvation, or who to stack in this week’s draft king’s milly maker. Wilson to Lockett is my bet. Always journey for quality, but remember, to maintain quality don’t listen to Journey along the way. The lights in the harbor DON’T shine for me.
God is a huge coffee fan, and enjoys a good candy flavored vape as well. He really enjoys the gummy peached flavored ones with hybrid mix for a relaxing yet productive writing session. We spoke last night and he’s very concerned that the ONE nation under God is trying to ban something in the guise of protecting the kids. A common drum beat in the worlds never ending rock show. This is the oldest tactic in the book when looking to ban anything you twist it in the easily mendable vine of public safety. Speaking of twisted a twisted personality with satanic overtones is bad for the kids too. Real bad. So, Starlight you are a public nuisance to CWF, and I have to ask who’s going to protect you from me? It’s time we ban you’re insanity for the public good.
I mean I don’t know if you know me or not, and like a conversation with a person with a lazy eye I’m not really sure which personality I need to talk to get my point across so I’ll just kind of aim for the middle and hope for the best. My brother was the lead character in the Best-selling book of all time; the Holy Bible. You see my family has been “tasked” with dealing with demented souls such as yourself. Look it’s not glamorous or anything, but it pays the bills, the health care is tremendous, and any party where water can be turned into wine is always a good time if that’s what you’re looking for.
As you’ve stated in the past the Alpha & Omega tournament makes for some strange bedfellows. I must agree with you. You see, me stopping your army in your head should happen down the road in some epic battle of the righteous and the wretched but instead you’re just a pit stop in my journey to quality. It’s not your fault you were placed in a division with a deity, a wrestling legend, and a damn fine-looking soul. Watashi Wa Kyuseishu desu to introduce myself to you in your own language.
You see I’ve felt the same pain you have. I have been in the same wars you’ve engaged in. My body is as broken and scarred as yours. Your personal Jesus has been crucified, lashed, bashed, beaten, bludgeoned, battered, fallen from, fallen through, and rammed into; just about by, though, and near anything a wrestling fan has ever seen. Many perceive the riotous and the holy as weak or peace loving. Nothing could be further from the truth our existence is forged in fire and has waged war from the Alpha to the Omega. You live in a land of fantasy Miss Starlight. You live in a world of oracles, trolls, demons, and a cackle that’s spine tingling annoying. I mean really enough with that dopy laugh its never become of an oversized lady.
Reality is what you are about to face as I will shatter the illusion your mind is producing. *snaps twice* In the olden days we called it in exorcism but given it’s 2019 people get offended by that term so now we call it a sinister spiritual evacuation or “SSE” for the medical type. Let me remind you as the world’s social justice samurai that these fragile people whom find the word exorcism offensive are the same souls who would seek out goats walking on their backs while doing Yoga instead of going to a church and seeking true salvation. But who am I to blow against the wind??
I really hate these “world tours” as the travel makes me sick. I’ve played every arena across the world, topped the rankings in both America and Japan the two hotbeds of the wrestling world; even if I can’t get booked into a main event in this tournament. I’ve headlined both the Tokyo Dome and the Rosemont Horizon. I’m a big money draw. A headliner. Honey I’m what all your personalities aspire to be. So the need to travel has really faded in my life. I get why old pop stars take up residency in Vegas and let the fans come to them as opposed to traveling. I sit here worrying about being pick pocketed, I’m worried about some junkie robbing my hotel room, figuring out travel plans, passports, jet lag, sleep schedules all to beat the shit out of some “woman” warrior for 15 minutes while people who hardly speak English cheer me on. Jesus never had to worry about airmiles.
Plus, I have to work to find the right coffee shop instead of the simple comfort of knowing where to go in my own backyard. Starlight is a traveler too. A stranger in a strange land confused by everything around her. A simpleton so perplexed by reality that her personalities split off into different versions of herself in order to cope with reality. Perhaps the real her is worth running from and every wrinkle of her mind is a hiding place for what ever good is left inside of her. Sure, we all have issues. Hell, I travel with my emotional support cat Meowru Suzuki but lets be honest all I had to do was get him verified by paying some fee on some random website who knows how to play the law, and boom just like that I legally can bring my cat anywhere. 2019 really is a wonderful place in the world’s history if you know how to cry victim loud enough. No need to hide inside the walls of your own skin Miss Starlight let it out, fly like an eagle, let the rage run rampant. Believe me nobody will notice or care unless it involves a firearm and mass hysteria or words offensive to groups of people. You see the world is so consumed with outrage and opinion typed everywhere and shouted at everyone that really the voice in our head is no longer worth listening to.
Everyone has options, and certainly I could retire be done with it all and neve travel again. Hell, it almost happened after I lost to a lesser opponent on the opening night of the tournament. It took a lot of my drive from me that almost had me fulfill my goal of just being a hermit living in the solitude of air conditioning and video games. You too have an option, big mama Starlight. Lay down. Don’t fight. Let me place my hands on your forehead as the referee counts three as I perform an SSE on your soul. Think about it. You could be cured of your inner crazy, get a loss out of the way, and join my ministries as we like hiring people with mental problems. It gives us a tax write-off, and you a group of friends that are tangible and not figments of your imagination.
Just food for thought. Since Mary with her Cherry left me, I have been a single man. So maybe engaging in a night with a local gal wouldn’t be such a horrible idea. I mean when in Amsterdam do as the damned. Plenty of options around, and I may have to shop around a bit to find the quality in this never-ending journey that is earthly existence. Until next time, keep on the sunny side no matter which personality is in control but always hold on tightly to your umbrella because you just never know when it’s going to rain.
HW, your Kyuseishu
'Today I am your champion
I may have won your hearts
But I know the game, you'll forget my name
And I won't be here in another year
If I don't stay on the charts'
--Billy Joel, 'The Entertainer'
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."