Once again, the scene is nothing but a simple setting within this cozy apartment. Freddie is sitting in the darkness looking straight into the camera and piercing through it. He is in a state of concentration and focus like no other has ever been in. He is on the eve of his greatest night (so far), and this is his preparation. All is quiet as Freddie begins to speak in a slow, well-mannered, and eloquent pace.
It has been a little under 8 months since I signed my name on the dotted line and became a member of the CWF, so I thought it would only be appropriate to start today off with my list of resolutions for the remainder of 2018 and beyond. Prepare, for it is a long list for the start of a long and prosperous year ahead of me. I seek to win the World title; to train and to prepare to my fullest; to fear no man who steps in my path; to follow in the footsteps of Julius Caesar and all of the other great leaders who have inspired me; to reach the Mecca of professional wrestling that I have thought about for so long; to look up into the heavens and realize that I’m already there and only need to look sideways; to find the inner peace within myself and within life to maintain greatness; to strengthen my alliances; to defy my enemies; to show the world my vision; to put that vision into words that are so clear that they accurately display the portrait in my head; to guide others to the path of immortality but only take them so far as to have to trek it themselves; to achieve a status and a name of none other ever recorded; to eliminate the history books of all who once were and can never be again; to erase the unworthy from the current coral of so-called superstars; to know without a doubt the truth of life and man; to feel the power and the prestige that comes along with greatness; to only improve my mental capabilities to continue to learn the art of analysis; to shame those who get ahead of themselves; and finally, to be the man that no other can be…Freddie Styles. You see, if you listen to my words and watch my body language, I think you should rightfully get the impression that I am a calm and collected man. We are on the eve of destruction as a famous figure in this business put it, but I am feeling nothing but a sense of tranquility at this moment. I am sitting here feeling as relaxed as I have ever felt. The idea that I can finally reach my ultimate potential has put me into a state of total peace. I can feel the blood steadily flow through my body and it feels good. I’ve never felt this before so at this time I can almost call it a euphoric place to be. There is a melodic sound of silence in the air that cannot be put into words because they break the beautiful silence. This is how I feel. This is how I am ending my preparation for Golden Intentions. I can only imagine the feelings the other competetiors, including my tag team partner are going through. None of you cannot be in any way, shape, or form in the same state that I am currently in. The gentleness and the quietness that my life produces is a scary place for a lot of you. And that’s why I now put myself in this position. Let’s talk about how the lot of you must be feeling. Some of you may be extremely confident, but others will be stressed out thinking about their chance...what for a lot of folks in this rumble, their ONLY chance at this precious title. Remember after all, it is the title that brought you here, isn't it? If you lose it, it’s almost like your entire career has been taken away from you. That’s one of my goals in this match, to ruin as many championship dreams as I can. How does your stomach feel being put in this position? Is your heart racing? Is the blood flowing erratically and offpace? Are your nerves on high alert, shooting senses of pain and hurt at every new stimulus? Is your head filled with worry and concern with all of the preparation you are going through? Are you thinking about me and beginning to choke on your saliva with the thought of facing me? Remember that my fate is yours also. My destiny creates your destiny. You have no control, and now, if you didn’t already, you know it also. Can you feel your heart thumping now? Pounding, recklessly, uncontrollably, causing you to writhe in pain and agony? It should.
This is what I have waited since the beginning for. I’ve waited my turn. All for this time, this moment...all to be in Golden Intentions. But now it’s my time and it’s earned. I’ve waited long enough for this. I’ve put in enough time and enough hours and enough pain and enough suffering. Now it’s to cash in on all of that. In the business world, you build up your ammunition and you build up your alliances, and then you make the big payday. That’s what I have done here. I spent the time, put in the work. Now it’s my time to make good on it. Now it’s time to come through with the plan, win this rumble and finally take that title which I came so close to earlier this year. I've laid this all out since Modern Warfare. The journey may have been long, but I’ve known all along that this was how it had to end. We’ve all played with fire and in one way or another we have all been burned. It’s only fitting to end it this way. Beyond that ring awaits my chance at immortality. This is the end of your roads, the reality check from your champinship dreams. I hope you have enjoyed it for all that it was. Because at Golden Intentions, people will be tossed out...and there's nothing that you can do about it. Prepare for a Fury the likes of which you've never seen......as this street kid from the Dirty South takes home the rumble.
Freddie leans back, and relaxes as this scene comes to a close.....
My view was fuzzy that morning. Everything I looked at seemed to look as if it were feathered around the edges. I laid in my bed, on my back with my hands folded behind my head, staring at the ceiling; Aurora sound asleep beside me. I wondered if somewhere along the line I had been hit in the dome in my match with Billy. Maybe that clothesline blurred my vision, but I wasn't positive. I was exhausted and my body ached. A draw....time ran out. I wouldn't enter last. I had put Billy Anderson through hell...and he just. wouldn't. DIE.
I laid there with my eyes wide open, wanting desperately to pass out, and sleep the rest of the day away, but my eyes remained open. I couldn't understand it.
I woke up, drenched in sweat. I sat upright, and looked around the room. I was still in the bedroom, but I had been asleep the entire time. But that wasn't what scared me about the situation. What scared me was that the telltale voice...the voice that shows up when all is well in the world, wants to fuck it all up...was back again. I couldn't understand why it was happening. Things were going so well....I guess too well for my anxiety to stay away. Please...don't let this be the beginning of my spiral downward. I've come too damn far personally and professionaly to fall the fuck down now.
I had awakened to the sudden movements in the bed. I still half-asleep turned to see Freddie awake. He looked as though something was wrong, I sat up in bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was completely wet with sweat. Worriedly I looked at him biting down on my lower lip.
"Baby are you okay? You look as though you had a horrible nightmare." I said.
"Yes." I replied sharply.
I didn't want to worry Aurora with this. But to be honest, I was petrified of what was to come in te next few months. If this was going to be anything like what it was before, I wouldn't be the same man that let her in to his house. I'd tell her sooner or later about my past with my disease, but I had to wait for the right time. I'd have to let this go on for a while and cover it up. Hopefully it would disappear before shit started to get out of hand, but I had a feeling that it wouldnt be working like that. Soon enough I'd be a raging lunatic again.
"Would you mind making some coffee Aurora? I feel like shit right now. I must be coming down with the flu."I said.
But I knew that wasn't it. I knew the truth, and it wasn't good. I had to keep this concealed for as long as possible.
"Yeah of course..."
I replied as I slid out of bed. I grabbed a robe and put it on, I did my best to hide the hurt I was feeling from his sharp reply to me. Something was desperately wrong with him and he was keeping it from me. I tied the robe shut and walked out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen. I began to get the coffee started as I leaned back against the kitchen counter. If he was coming down with the flu he didn't need coffee, he needed to sleep and needed some tea. I ended up nixing the coffee idea and made him some strong herbal tea. I put some sugar into it and brought it upstairs. I walked into our bedroom and sat at his side. I handed him the cup.
"Here, this'll help." I said as I gently rubbed his back, trying to make him feel better.
I took the cup from her hand, and slowly took a sip from it. It was scorching hot, so I put it on the night stand next to the head of the bed. Aurora continued rubbing my shoulders, as I turned to face her. I put my hadn on her hip, and forcefully pulled her in closer to me.
"I know what might help right now." I said as I began to kiss her neck.
I enjoyed it but if he was getting sick I didn't want him overdoing it, I gently pushed him away. I placed a hand on his cheek and looked at him lovingly.
"Baby if you're sick you should be resting okay? Please?"
I don't know why but there was something about his mannerisms this morning that frightened me. I tucked those fears deep into the pits of my heart and tried to ignore them.
I could see that I was bothering Aurora, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't let her in on this yet. She ahd pushed aside my advances on her, so I didn't further it. I didn't want to push her in to something she didn't want to do. I looked at her, knowing I looked like shit. I figured I'd stay in and rest the rest of the day.
Heh, still can't pleasure the women eh? Fucking pussy!
What the hell is with you? You obviously don't know shit.
Oh yeah, then why did she just push you away?
I was baffled by it. I thought maybe it would only stay in my dreams, but it as happening like it used to. The voice was coming back in to full control. In no time I'd be a walking disaster waiting to happen.
I looked at Freddie and he seemed to be deep in thought. In fact he didn't seem to be really paying attention to me. Whatever was going on with him I needed to know.
"Freddie is something wrong? I know you say it's the flu but you look so...I don't even know how to explain it, different I guess. Is there anything you want to tell me?"
My worry for him was mounting within seconds, I placed my hands on his shoulders, rubbing them ever so gently. I loved this man and whatever it was that was on his mind I wished he would have shared with me so maybe I could have helped him. I wanted to do anything I could for him.
"Baby I love you and whatever it is let me help."
Oh look, she gives a shit about you. Weird huh? Especially when Krystal was fucking anything with a dick behind your back.
Fuck you. You're the reason why. You fucked up that relationship, and me. Why the hell do you think I was in that mental asylum? Because of you. You're only a fucking voice in my head. Yet you still manage to fuck me over whenever I have a good thing going.
This girl is a cry baby. Look at her, she is ready to cry already. Kick her to the curb and get on with your life. You wonder why you only hold the tag title.
Seriously, fuck you. You don't know shit about her.
Heh, I know all dumb ass. What you know, I know. Remember that for future reference.
I was already getting stressed out, the anger in me rising.
"I said I'm fine Aurora." I snapped.
See it was already happening. The voice was already fucking me over. Here we go again. Another year down the shitter.
His snapping at me caused me to sort of jump back slightly. I took my hands from his shoulders and sighed. I didn't know what was wrong with him but if this is how he was going to act then I wasn't going to push him anymore. I got off of the bed and went to my dresser, I began to pull out a pair of panties, a pair of sweat pants, and a hooded sweatshirt, I needed a shower to think.
"Well all right if you're fine, you're fine. I'm going to go and take a shower." I said as I walked into the bathroom and almost slammed the door shut but yet I didn't lock it. I began to run the water in the bathtub as I then sat on the edge of it. Whatever was wrong with Freddie it was starting to try on my nerves, he had never been that sharp with me. I looked down at the water filling up the tub and couldn't help but feel somewhat depressed.
I had upset her, and that had been the last thing I wanted. I looked down at my hands, and let out a deep sigh.
"Aurora, Im sorry. I'm just not feeling so hot. Leave me a spot in the tub. I'll join you."
There you go Freddie. You're about to fuck up another relationship. Good for you, push her away. I'm sure you'll feel much better then.
Fuck this and fuck you. You're the only reason why I snapped at her. Get the hell out of my head, and stay the FUCK out of my life!
You need me Freddie, and you know it. You'll find out soon enough. We'll finish this discussion later.
I had to control this. I couldn't let my life spin out of control, again. I was positive I could try and contain it. I'd have to go see Dr. Tarman if necessary. If thqat didn't work, then I was going to Stockholm again. But that was my last resort. I was worried about how my life was going to end up. I WASN'T going to roll over and die and let this voice push away Aurora. She was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time.
"I love you Aurora." I said through the closed door.
"I love you too Freddie." I said as I slid my robe off and slipped into the warm tub. I knew he loved me but he was snapping at me so much that evening that it truly did hurt. I didn't want to cry and I wasn't going to. I had put bubblebath into the water so that the bubblebath has erupted into thousands of off-whites bubbles. I was far enough down in the tub that the bubbles were covering right above my breasts. I rested my head back against the edge of the tub and put a wash cloth over my eyes. I still hadn't gotten over the stress of finding Salem all over Freddie not to long ago.
"If you want to come in, it's open."
I put a half smile on my face, and pulled my naked body from underneath the sheets. I walked to the bathroom door and opened it, shutting it behind me. Along with all the drama that Aurora and I had endured that morning. I was ready to fight the disease plauging my thoughts.
...family is everything.
You don't have to be blood to be family. The four of you prove it by your existence together. Most people look at Duce and myself...and they think we'll split at the first sign of adversity. Like we're a team of convience. We come from the same mud...second generation kids that grew up in the business. His dad and my uncle are legends...and we've been always looked at as the next in our respective family legacies. We've both been on top as world champions, and at the bottom trying to fight our way back up after tough losses.
Deep down I have thought about the outcome of my career as of lately. I remember rivalries that I have been in that almost never ended, I would dread, weep, and feel ominous amounts of pain through out my body; remembering those times and ordeals. I remember my first day on the job almost like it was yesterday. Throughout those years from then until now, I made wrestling my life, the one and only thing I lived and stood for in my world. I dedicated myself toward this type of sport and put my body on the line to the most extreme extinct imaginable. Over the years, I remember those matches that were but yet so very brutal toward my own body, that I loved wiping the blood from off of my own forehead and just stared at it as if I were cursed on the sensation of the taste, smell, look or feel of my own blood. Some have thought of me as being crazy in the past and some still probably do, but either or, it has made no difference toward my career what so ever. Over the past few years of my life, I have accomplished more then I ever imagined when my career first started. Sounds familiar...that's not ust my story..it's my partners as well. It's destiny, they say...and who are we to disappoint?.
Winning this title, I have started to feel a lot stronger as a wrestler, as a person. I can see now what I couldn't’t see before...my destiny. I want to shake the hearts of those who despise me and break the bones of those who doubt my talent. When my wrestling journey began, I know I was nothing more than a brash rookie, who over time became one of the best the CWF has to offer.
Mia, Shadow...I cannot wait until the time comes when Duce and I stand before and show you both just how great we truly are. You will feel the fury that is our heart, our hunger, our very wrestling SOUL! The fire that burns inside us, that burning spirit that drives the greatest of wrestlers to succeed, having these titles make it burn stronger, hotter, bigger....so much so that I sit here in this darkness, ready to explode at the thought of defending what's ours.
We respect you, no doubt. But respect doesn't mean fear. Darkness doesn't scare me, and I've been forsaken in this world before.
Knee to face
That's how this Golden Intentions story will end.
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."