Title: [CD] His Past Pain... Anguish... Fuels his FUTURE!!
Featuring: Zolton
Date: October 25, 2012
Location: Yakima Washington



”Emotional turmoil.
A past clouded in questions.
Where does one find motivation?
Niching out his own ways.
He suffered more than anyone knows.
Does his solitude provide solace?
Will that solace answer his questions?
Only he turns the keys of FATE!!”


His past pain… Anguish… Fuels his FUTURE!!


+++===THE PAST===+++




+++===OFFICE SETTING===+++


(Tears shed did not open his heart again so quickly.)

“When I saw her kissing him, it was like her halo cracked, shattered, then fell to dust. What appeared in its place was a set of horns. Curled. Red. Black. Smoking. At the same time I felt my heart pull a double beat then nothing. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. My breath was absent. I didn’t know what to do in that moment. All these vile, violent reactions then decided to make their way through my mind. Storming to them both. My longtime best friend. Tear his head from his shoulders. Slam my fist into his chest and rip out his still beating heart. Then turn to her, holding his heart, enjoying the slowing of the beats. Smile. Then pull her jaws apart enough to be able to shove his heart down her throat.”

*The sound of a voice is heard. Within the confines of the scene, as it focuses in, it reveals a young man sitting in a chair, comfortable looking, but he doesn’t look comfortable. A little skinny considering that he looks rather tall. Short brown hair, clean cut. A little stubble showing itself along his jawline and upper lip. His plain white shirt looks a bit worn out. He adorns a pair of dark sweat pants. Regular tennis shoes as well. Across from him sits a woman. A little older, but not more than ten maybe fifteen years. Wearing a nylons and a skirt that reaches her knees even while sitting. Her legs crossed at the ankles. Her blouse is clean, a pale pink with three buttons at the top, she left the top one undone. Over the blouse is a light vest, plain blue in color. Her hair neatly tucked in a emaculate bun. As the young man speaks, she takes notes periodically on a large yellow pad. As the rest of the room comes into focus, there are three windows lining the wall to the left of the young man. He faces slightly away from them. After jotting something quickly, the woman looks up with a soft expression toward the young man.*

“After envisioning this, how did that make you feel? Did you feel stronger? Did you feel satisfied after just the mere thought of accomplishing such brutality?”

*The young man tilts his head as his eyes narrow toward the woman.*

“I felt nothing by just thinking of doing that. Like I told you, I felt hopeless. Helpless. I was numb yet burning with passionate anger as well as pain that amounted to nothing really. I wanted to be able to accomplish that thought. It seemed to be such an easy thing to do. Tearing out his heart, literally, just like he and her did to mine figuratively.”

*As he speaks, he begins to scratch his left forearm which reveals a rather large bandage that starts at his wrist and goes up to about the middle of his forearm.*

“All I did was stare, breathless. My knees locked. My body frozen in place. The initial fear I had of her seeing me approach was a distant memory. I had no fear of being seen. Just like their liplock. Their passionate embrace. Their flushed faces were of no concern of theirs. If they saw me standing there like a statue I probably would have done one of two things. Actually done what was going through my head at that moment, or remained frozen. Neither of which happened. They remained in their little passionate display of affection in the very spot her and I shared our first kiss. Another notch in the whole thing that made me want to destroy their very essence.”

*The woman writes a couple of lines on the pad before she returns her soft expression to the young man.*

“Do you have any idea why you couldn't move? Why you were only thinking of inflicting physical harm on them? Did you want to at least cry out or say something in that moment?”

*His gaze slides down to the floor as he begins to move his feet in a nervous way.*

“I don’t recall any such thought. I don’t remember anything like that. I couldn’t even remember all the things that I wanted to say in my proposal speech. All of that was washed away in that instant I rounded the corner and enter that meadow. I couldn’t remember what pocket I had the ring in. What made me snap to though was the actual physical pain of the thorns digging into my palm. The roses I held in my right hand were releasing the blood that now was boiling throughout my body. It was strange though, I felt it but I didn’t try to stop it. I was caught in the middle of emotions. Anger. Shock. Sadness. Shame. It was all swirling around me but I couldn’t do anything to escape it or face it. I believe what I finally did was scream. Yell. No specific intention behind it. Just another release. Dropped the roses. Then I ran. I just kept running. Not knowing if they noticed my yell or not. After maybe a few strides or so I felt the ring box in my left pocket. I made the decision to grab it and toss it too. I have no clue where it ended up. I just wanted to run. Hide. Become the darkness that I felt growing in me. I didn’t want to go home, but I ended up there. When I came through the front door, my mom and dad were sitting in the front room. Smiling at me, but as quickly as I shut the door, their smiles faded. This was when I realized my face was wet from the tears I shed in the run.”

*He paused. His eyes rose again. His knees began to bounce with the same beat of his feet.*

“I wiped the tears and stormed away from my parents. I closed myself in my room. A place I couldn’t stand after just a few minutes. I tore down pictures that she taped up on the wall above my desk. I rifled through the notes we exchanged in school and ripped them all. It was like I was possessed by the devil that I encountered in that meadow, but instead of actually causing harm physically. I was only driven by revenge.”

*The woman nods to him and remains focused on him before speaking. And points in his left arm’s direction with the end of her pen.*

“That would be a typical response. Experiencing an emotional heartbreak like you did would do anything to anyone. What I want to get to though before we close this session, is what is on your left arm there. What caused that bandage?”

*Shame enters his eyes, then anger.*

“I finally talked to her………”


(Slamming his still beating heart down her throat.)


~~-->>PREVIOUS DAY<<--~~


(Lying to hide from the truth.)

*The scene opens to a young man pacing in a small space. Dimly lit. A bed barely visible that he is pacing next to. His right hand up, cradling a cell phone to his ear.*

“Why? What was the reason for you to do what you did?”

*He asks the questions as he pauses awaiting the response. A few moments pass, something is heard from the earpiece at his ear, but words can’t be made out.*

“What do you mean you don’t know? Didn’t you find it strange that I didn’t call you or answer your calls or texts for the past week and a half? We were supposed to go out together, celebrate graduation and going off to college together. Did you forget that?”

*The sadness and underlying anger is quite apparent in his tone as he speaks to the person on the phone. His pacing slows as that person responds, he then sits on the edge of the bed, listening. A tear falls first from his left eye, then his right. He lets them trickle down his cheek.*

“How long has it been going on? Quit lying to me. Just for once tell me the truth. What do you see in Phillip that I don’t have?”

*A shocked look crosses his face as the response comes across the phone. After a second of listening, he fast ball’s the phone across the room. Within a moment a knock is heard on the door.*

“Heinreich, honey, are you okay?”

“Yes mom, I just need to be alone. I will be out for dinner soon.”

“Okay son. I love you.”

*The kind and soft woman’s voice wafts into the room through the door. The young manR, now known as Heinreich cradles his head in his hands. Some shallow breaths are heard before a sniffle. He then launches off the bed and storms across the room. Opens the door. Peeks out into the space on the other side, then slides out. Closing the door behind him. A moment later the light in the bathroom flips on. Heinreich stands in front of sink staring at the medicine cabinet mirror. As he stares at the tears now streaming down his face. Suddenly in the mirror there is wavy image of an attractive young brunette appears just to the left of his left eye. Then just to the right of his right eye appears another wavy image. This one is of an attractive young man. The two images come closer in the mirror and begin to kiss. Heinreich closes his eyes tightly, probably in hopes to make the images disappear. He then reopens them, the blue bright from the moisture in them. The images remain. He noticeably grind his teeth and launches a closed fist at the mirror, shattering it into many pieces. As the pieces fall from the frame, several fall into the sink. Others fall to the floor, shattering further.*


(Was the truth ever spoken?)




(The questions were answered deceivingly.)

“.........I took one of the pieces that fell into the sink and drug it up my arm. Blank thoughts in my mind. I just did it. Several lines starting at my wrist up to the middle of my forearm. I can’t remember how many times I drug the sharp piece of mirrored glass up my arm, but the more I did it, the more and more satisfied I became. Next thing I knew, my dad was crashing into the bathroom and forced my physically to stop doing it. My mom bandaged me up.”

*The woman writes several things down on the pad of paper in her lap before taking in a deep breath and begins to speak softly yet clearly.*

“That is why you are here. That impulse you had to just cause yourself harm is the very reason your parents brought you here today instead of your scheduled meeting tomorrow. I would like to build upon your opening up today though. Let meet again next week, I will also prescribe you some mood stabilizers to help maintain the brain balance and will help you to not impulsively harm yourself again. Will you take them?”

*He nods in reluctance.*

“They will help I promise. We will start off with a lower dosage to acclimate your body to them.”

*She tears a piece of paper from a smaller pad of paper that she pulled out from under the large yellow pad. She rises to her feet and brings it to the young man who rises to retrieve the prescription.*

“I am proud of you opening up like you did today. I feel we can grow from that and help you in the future.”

*He nods and shakes her still extended hand before stepping aside and moving toward the door. Before he opens it, he turns his head back toward the woman.*

“I have decided to remain home. I do not feel motivated to achieve anything in college.”

*With that he opens the door and exits, shutting the door behind before the woman can respond. The scene then exits to a staticy black screen.*


(The pain suffered is what Fuels the passion of the FUTURE!!)

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