Title: We're Under Ataxia!
Featuring: Bubba Love
Date: 8/7/19
Location: Bubba's Pad
Show: Evolution 60



BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The alarm clock goes off and we see a hand shoot out from under the covers, slapping the clock repeatedly until it finally stops after the fifth thwack or so. A very groggy man with long, brown dreadlocks emerges from his blanket cocoon and throws the bedding aside with force. The sunlight streaming in and hitting him as he yawns and stretches his arms over his head.

Bubba Love: “Oh man, is it that time already? I gotta get ready!”

Bubba leapt from the bed and ran out the door. The camera stays stationary while we faintly hear Bubba humming a tune to himself while showering. After several minutes pass, the alarm starts going off again.

Bubba Love: (From the bathroom) “Oh son of a bitch!”

We hear a crash and water splashing. A very nude (yet blurred for the children’s sake) Bubba runs back into frame and slaps the alarm clock again, silencing it. This time, he fumbles with it and makes sure it’s set to OFF instead of just snooze. He walks back to the shower and turns it off. When he reenters, he’s draped in a towel, and starts rummaging through his closet. Finally pulling out a tank top and some shorts, he tosses them on and sits on the edge of the bed.

Bubba Love: “Man, coming out of retirement AGAIN. What the hell am I thinking? Before it was just a fun way to get back into the game, but now? It’s almost like I missed it or something.”

Bubba leaves and heads to the kitchen, this time the camera follows him. He heads into the kitchen and starts mixing up some scrambled eggs.

Bubba Love: “I’m up against some dude named Ataxia? At least I think it’s a dude? Just some freak in a sack. Little fucking sack boy. I wonder if he’s got a tattoo of a dollar sign somewhere. I know that’s what I’d do if I were just a bag. Hey, that gives me an idea…”

Bubba picks up his phone while he’s still mixing up his eggs.

Bubba Love: “Hey, can you meet me at the gym? … Yeah, I have to start training again. … What do you mean for what?! I’m back in the game, remember? … You’re my manager! You’re the one who signed me up for this! … Yeah, in CWF, don’t you remember? … Seriously? Have you been drinking again? … Okay, okay, fine. I just worry about you sometimes. … Yes, I know, I’m not your mother. … Or your father. … Or your kid. … I get the point, you don’t need to nag me anymore! But for real, I need you to meet me at the gym. … Yeah, and do me a favor? … Grab a burlap sack and a can of green spray paint. … No, I didn’t rob a bank. Not this week.” Bubba winks at the camera. “It’s to get me ready for fighting sack boy. … No that’s not his real name, it’s just what he is. Or it. I have no idea. … No, I didn’t bother to check. … I’m not going to flip them upside down in the ring to check! Are you crazy?! There are kids watching! Maybe! I really don’t know what the demographics are. That seems like something you should know, seeing as you’re my manager! … Yes, you’re my manager again! You always have been, I just haven’t been working! … I’m not yelling at you, I’m just… … Okay, okay, I’m sorry for raising my voice. I just got excited is all. … Alright, I’m just finishing up my breakfast here, then I’ll be over. Sound good? … Okay, I’ll talk to you in a bit. … See ya later. Bye.”

Bubba hangs up the phone and resumes his focus on his eggs. As he pours them into his preheated pan, his phone rings. He looks at it and rolls his eyes, hitting the “reject call” button.

Bubba Love: “I just really don’t have time to deal with that. Not today. I need to get back into the swing of things, and train! It’s going to be a busy week!”

Bubba scoops his eggs onto his plate and sits down on the couch. He turns on the TV and kicks his feet up before diving into his breakfast. The scene fades out.



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