“I wasn’t s’posed to be here… I just got drunk and woke up outside” - ‘Total Elimination’ Eli Flair
“You can be the worst wrestler in the ring… you'll still be better than me” - ‘The Marathon Man’ Impulse
"My name is in Pete's Book." - Ben Halkum
“I love Dick” - Mariella Jade Flair
Sometimes life is funny.
You can be one of the well known people on the face of the earth. You can have it all. Then as time progresses, it all fades away. You don't get booked anymore. Your connect goes to jail. You disappear into oblivion. A has been.
Even worse, you can be MJF. Then you are nothing but a waste of oxygen.
Of course, that's the typical loser in this industry. We're not here to point fingers at how most people screw up their lives and becomes loser fucks living in their parent's basements color coding fantasy wrestling roleplays online that will be laughed at by all that read them. No, we're here to celebrate for it is a glorious day.
This is the day you have waited for the last four years. This is the day that was foretold on various wrestling rag sheets. This is the day Dick Fury returns.
Excited, you put your crayons down and waddle over to your computer. Cracking your fingers and licking your lips, you double click your browser icon and wait for it to load. It would be faster, but you're a piece of shit who refuses to get a job and live in your parents basement where you leech off of them.
What? I already explained what happens to people like you who screw up their lives above, try to keep up.
Finally, your computer loads the browser. You're so pumped you mistype Youtube.com and go to Youporn.com. After deciding to get your rocks off to some high quality midget porn, you get back to the task at hand.
Heading to Youtube.
Once there, you navigate to the only channel that matters: SuperbDick69. As it loads you can not contain yourself and blow another load in your pants. It's kind of sad really, but hey, getting off is getting off. Am I right? Once it's loaded, you see it in all of it's glory. A new video uploaded. You squeal in glee as you click play.
As the video begins to play, the screen is blurry. You can make out a reddish-brown item in the background with two orange illuminations sitting on top of it. The camera pulls back and the screen adjust to reveal a fireplace with a couple of candles flickering on top of it. The camera slowly pans down to where we see him.
Laying on a stuffed bear, he lies there in only a bright pink Speedo with his amazing package bulging through. There you go again, a third nut is busted. His left hand props his head up, as he massages his thick haired chest, paying extra special attention to his nipples. A real man is before you.
He is Dick Fury.
Without stopping his self caressing, Dick blows the camera a kiss before smiling. It is then, he addresses you.
He smiles again.
"Dick knows it's been such a long time, but he's been preparing for all of his little Dicksters."
He rolls over onto his back and slowly thrust his hips up, arching his back.
"Yes, Dick had so much training to do."
A series of slow thrust in the air, your eyes unable to stop staring at his groin area wishing you could unveil what is covered with your teeth. He turns back over onto his side.
"You see, Dick has been a busy boy. With the Golden Intentions Rumble for the Championship Wrestling Federation number one contendership in Dick's view, he had to train extra.... hard."
Dick looks down, admiring himself before tilting his head back up and returning his glare into your eyes.
"Dick has been rumbling in group after group to get ready. Three ways... four ways... orgies... bukakke parties.. Dick's done it all to prepare for this."
He rolls over to his stomach, his hands under his chin as he kicks his feet behind him. A sweet and innocent post for a child maybe, but for Dick... well, it makes you pop a fourth nut you sick fuck.
"Finally, Dick is ready to take on all thirty who dare step into the ring with him."
He has a face of his own orgasmic pleasure appear followed by a silent moan before composing himself.
"To top it off, Dick hears that someone is cumming a second time to get herself some Dick in the rumble."
He removes one hand to wave.
His hand returns to where it was under his chin.
"Then there is Eric Dane."
He moans silently again.
"What a sexy beast he is. Too bad his ego is the only thing big about him."
A playful smirk.
"Add in twenty seven others and Dick, what do you get?"
He waits for a moment.
"Twenty nine beaten and broken bodies with just one standing... erect... in the ring at the end. The only one that matters... Dick Fury."
Dick places his hands on the floor and pushes up, standing. Did his bulge get even bigger? It must have because there you go again, letting another nut fly off in your piss stained tightie whities. As he stands, Dick places his hands on his hips, looking forward.
"Don't let Dick's absence from the ring fool you. He's still the biggest... the baddest... the only reason anyone will tune in..."
Dick uses both hands to rub from his abdomen up, his hands once again intertwining with his luscious chest hair.
"Each and every person who steps between the ropes and test him will be split in half by Dick. Bodies will be broken so badly when they take on Dick that they may never be able to walk right again."
He nods with a cockiness behind him.
"While he tosses body after body over the top, penetrating all forces that emerge... the crowd will scream how the love Dick. Yes! The milfs will jump from their seats and proclaim their bodies belong to Dick! The children will sing about how much they love Dick! The men... the men will hang their heads in shame as they will never amount to half the man Dick is! This will empower him to do what no one ever expected him to do!"
Dick gets serious for a moment.
"... Return to ring and reclaim his spot at the top... first easily taking the number one contendership from everyone who has put in the work week after week to not even get close to his level... then to destroy the winner of the World Championship Triple Threat match in a way that they will never be able to show their faces in public again."
He smirks before closing his eyes and going through the movements of raising a championship in the air with one hand.
"Dick will take the CWF World Championship and raise it into the air, cementing his legacy once again and putting the Championship Wrestling Federation on the map."
He opens his eyes, arm still in the air. Looking straight forward he continues.
"There's not a God damn thing anyone can do about it. Not MJ Fucking Flair.. Not Eric Dane... Freddie Styles.. Bronson Box... Mia Rayne.. The Shadow..."
He moves his arm down.
"No fucking one!"
Now Dick becomes even more serious, his presence overbearing.
"Every fucking person in the rumble, every fucking person who steps in the way will feel.... the..."
The camera zooms in on him.
As the camera pans back, Dick's hands return to his hips and once again a confident and cocky smirk returns to his face. Not only is Dick Fury back and in the CWF, he is ready. The days of boring storytelling is over. There is only one chapter and that is the chapter that Dick writes in the pages of wrestling history. He lives for this. He breaths for this.
He will overcome all and take the CWF to new heights. Everyone else? Oh, they can ride Dick all they want... but they will either know their role or be put in their place. At Golden Intentions a new number one contender will emerge and things will never be the same again.
The video feed fades to an end.