The roller coaster of emotions that Tom has been going through has taken a toll both mentally and physically on the soon to be new dad. It has really started to show in his work. HIs workouts have not been as crisp or as productive. He’s making mistakes again that he hadn’t made since he started training. It is amazing that Tom is able to do anything, with the bags under his eyes threatening to blind him. Unfortunately, he is just going through the motions, and as such he isn’t experienced enough to be able to just go through the motions. Dr. Sweatt has had Tom leave his workouts on more than one occasion due to his mistakes become to dangerous to those he trains with. As such, he has been spending more and more time at the local watering hole. To afraid to be alone with his thoughts and feelings. To distracted to be around others. To consumed to focus on anything. The only way he seems to get any relief is looking for the answer to the questions he doesn’t know in the bottom of a dirty glass.
Now, last time we saw, things looked liked they were back on track for Tom and Amanda, as they had discussed some of her behavior regarding the pregnancy. While that conversation resolved some of the unease and anger that Tom had, there is something that is nagging at him. Something big that is consuming any available energy, but hiding what it is.
There is a large part of him that is excited. Becoming a father is an exciting. The thought of being responsible for another human being. To be responsible for to show the little being how to be an adult. There is a lot of responsibility. But to have the emotions so intense, to love a being that hasn’t even taken its first breath, with every ounce of your being. It is no wonder there are so many father’s who run away. The responsibility, the emotions, these are things males are not used to, not in the amount and intensity.
Tom doesn’t want to run away, that isn’t who he is. He has always done the right thing, and the right thing is being there for this child. What that means is no matter what, that Tom is going to be there for the kid.
It really has just hit Tom, that he is going to be a father. This has become one of the happiest moments in his life. He is going to share all the things he loves with his child. Holy shit, Tom is going to be a father. He isn’t ready to be a dad. Hell, he is most child-like anyways. He can barely take care of himself, let alone of someone who can’t even do that. Who will rely on him for pure survival. How is he not going to screw this child up? This has just become the most overwhelming moment of his life.
“No wonder you have been getting your ass handed to you left and right. You can’t focus on whether having a child is a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t know how you are able to get from arena to arena, let alone show up for your matches on time and in any shape to do anything.”
“Well you should know better than anyone”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing, you’ve just been through this before.”
“I don’t think so, unless there is something you aren’t telling me”
“You know everything I do”
“Ok, so how do I have experience?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t say that you did. I just said you would know better than anyone.”
“You told me that I have been through this before, now you are changing your story? You are further gone than I thought. I’m worried about you.”
“There is nothing to worry about. I’m good. I’ve got EVERYTHING under control”
“Is that so? Why don’t I believe you?”
“Because you are a Negative Nancy.”
”Look, I am not going to get into an argument with you about this!”
“Argument with who Tom?”
Tom, spins and sees that Amanda has entered the room. She looks around to see who else is there for Tom to talk with, but finds no one.
“Are you on the phone?”
“No, why do you ask dear?”
“Because as I walked in, I heard you telling someone that you weren’t getting into an argument with someone about something?”
“Really, there’s no one I was talking to. I was sitting here, off in my own world, trying to process everything that has been going on.”
“Yeah, it has been a lot between your recent losses. What can I do to help reverse this trend?”
“I don’t know. It isn’t just professional, there is a lot going on up here.”
“That’s a first”
“Nothing babe. So, is there anything that I can do? Both of our careers depend on your success.”
“I am aware.”
“So what are we going to do to reverse this trend”
“I don’t know. Keep working hard, and positive things will happen.”
“I don’t know if we have that much time. We have been on a short lease.”
“That we are, but let’s just stay the course. I’m sure some of this is due to our inexperience.”
Amanda, shrugging her shoulders, turns and leaves Tom to his own devices again, deciding to start preparing. It's on her shoulders to produce an award winning segment so she can keep up her end of this duo. And if worse comes to worse, if she shows she has talent in this area, they will keep her around and find some roll for her. She can’t be sure that Tom will be able to keep it together, especially if he keeps racking up these loses. On second thought, winning may not help him any. His fragile psyche may not be able to come back from this. Maybe she can use that to her advantage.
The Game Warden sits in a park, with the Toyota Center dominating the skyline behind her. Benji kneels at her feet, drinking from the portable dish she placed on the ground in front of him.
“There my pet. Drink up, it is hot here in the desert. Do you remember the last time we were here? It was the Twilight of the Gods show, one where my pet performed pretty well, one where he made others sit up and take notice”
At the command, Benji sits up and is alert. He is waiting for another command or if he can sense danger. The Game Warden, sensing his reaction, pats him on the head, letting him know he can go back to drinking.
“This is the sight of when we stood toe to toe with Silas, and my Benji didn’t blink. Now, I can already hear what Silas is going to say. That it doesn’t matter, Benji didn’t win. Silas will say that he wasn’t at his top since that was the second match in his gauntlet match in defending his paramount title. Silas, I’ve heard it all before. Now that Benji has your full attention, and you’ve had a week to rest up, you are going to show him that he isn’t in your league. He isn’t worthy of tying your boots, or some other attempt at pointing out how inferior he is to you. “
“That is right, he is a bad bad man, who isn’t confident in their own abilities or manhood for that matter.”
“Woof woof woof woof woof”
“I know Benji, I will share with them that you have the utmost confidence in your manhood. Don’t worry, I won’t share too many details about the size of your manhood, about how filling it is, or about how it is used. You know, all of this talk about manhood along with my current hormonal state, is causing a bit of butterflies in my belly”
“Bark bark arf arf bark”
“I know, I know you wouldn’t mind stepping aside to help chase my butterflies away, and we will. But business before pleasure my pet.”
“Woof arf grr woof woof”
“As much as I would love to make our business and my pleasure one in the same, I’m not sure that would make the bosses, the FCC, or the general population.”
“Bark bark arf arf”
“Yes, there are some who would thoroughly enjoy it, and that for some it is a legitimate way to earn a living, but that is not what we do. Though maybe if you can’t start winning some matches and making more of a positive name for yourself, then we may have to go that route.”
“Oh, don’t worry my pet. No matter we will get through this together. Besides, I have faith in you. If you can’t cut it in the ring, you will have no problem making in the bed.”
“Woof Woof bark bark”
“Yes, I will hurry up so we can get to bed and take care of my butterflies. Silas, win or lose, it doesn’t make a difference. You can say you are better than my Benji. We can say we are better than you. Ultimately it doesn’t matter. Victories in the ring, losses in the ring, titles won, in the grand scheme of life make no difference. The only things that matter are taking care of those whom you are responsible for. As you can see, Benji and I have quite a bit in which we are responsible for now. “
“Down boy, I know you will do whatever you have to ensure our safety and wellbeing. I just hope that it will be enough this week.”
“Yes Benji, it is time to go take care of my butterflies.”
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."