::The Long Wait::
Usually I am not a morning person, but today, I am. From one end of my two-bedroom apartment to the other has been cleaned as I nervously await the arrival of the postal worker, because today is the day.
This must bee the umpteenth-billion time I have walked over to my desk and sat staring at a blank screen, but at least now I actually manage to hit the power button and get things set up for my little personal therapy; also known as a video blog.
“Hey everyone, PJ Blake here.”
Ugh… I sound like such a child!
“So it has been at least a week since I had that meeting with CWF and I have yet to hear back from them.”
I hate waiting, but chill out PJ, don’t let them see you sweat.
“My Uncle Tank tells me it takes about a week to hear anything from an executive, so here I am… waiting. I am feeling pretty good about today though and think I am going to finally get a response. I swear, if I don’t I am liable to actually break out the Pine-Sol and dust something.”
PJ, you dolt, they don’t know you hate dusting, geez… sound more like a goober!
“See, I actually cleaned my place waiting for the mail to arrive!”
I move off to one-side to show off my definition of a clean apartment. Instead of all over the floor, I have swept things into piles to be dealt with later. I pull myself back in front of my computer’s camera.
“Don’t judge me, it’s hard finding time between serving and training to clean my sleep-space. I don’t even know why I let my mom talk me into this two-bedroom to be honest. Does she not realize that is just more space to get filled with my clutter?”
I roll my eyes up and side-to-side.
“Silly mothers, when will they ever learn… right?! So who all is excited for me to hear from C-W-F?”
Probably nobody, I see that stupid view counter… mocking me with its low number.
“Thank you to my loyal viewer… viewers? Well thank you just the same for sticking by me and joining me on this journey into becoming a professional wrestler who gets to eat on a regular basis and not work as a server-slash-bartender.”
At least it’s not retail.
“The money is good, most of the clientele is sleezy, but hopefully I get to put all of that in my rearview mirror after today because C-W-F picks me up, but hey I should get off here now and do something semi-if-at-all-productive right?”
I lift my shoulders and don’t stop recording.
“There’s nothing else to do. I cleaned and I made peanut butter toast for my yummy breakfast. You know I actually splurged and bought name brand peanut butter too! That will probably turn around and bite me on the pooper, but I was excited about C-W-F that I just had to treat myself!”
With my right-hand I tuck back a strand of hair that has fallen in my face. Don’t you just hate it when that happens! Stay in place darn you!
“I really need to get off here now, but you know… procrastination is a disease that is hard to beat. I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”
I say with a snicker.
“Seriously though, stuff to do and hopefully contracts to sign! PJ Blake signing off, folks!”
My hand shoots up like a rocket and falls down like one of those failed Apollo missions to cut the feed.
“That was fun and distracting.”
::After The Arrival::
This day is going on forever it seems! Can the universe be any crueler? I just want one mealy envelope, is that really too much to ask? Hey, is it weird I sit on my sofa upside-down? Ya’know… legs over the back and head over the cushions?
*Knock, Knock, Knock*
Totally didn’t just fall trying to get to my feet just now. Just let me poke my head up and make sure nobody was around to see my epic failure.
*Knock, Knock, Knock*
“Who goes there?!”
I always ask, but I can never hear anyone through the door.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m comin’!”
PJ manages to struggle to her feet and dust herself off.
*Knock, Knock, Knock*
“Hold your horses lady… dude… creature… whatever you are!!!”
I open the door and there stands my girly. I scream in excitement but she doesn’t… talk about making a moment awkward for both of us, right?
PJ: “Ugh! I hate you!!”
She is a sadist… pure evil, but I love this girl to death! I take her by the arm and drag her into my apartment, of course noticing what she is holding in her right-hand too. I place my hands behind my back and rock from the balls of my feet to the tips.
PJ: “Whatcha got there, lady?”
Serena: “Your mail-person wanted me to bring your mail, something about not wanting to be trounced again.
I take a look around.
PJ: “I don’t know what they on about, Sera… must be on the crack or something.”
Serena: “Uh huh, I’m sure that’s it.”
We sit on the sofa… in the awkward “correct” way… weird.
Serena: “So you want this mail or what?”
PJ: “What do you think, lady?!”
She is being a tease and I do not appreciate this! That’s what I get for telling anyone my hopes and dreams on any given day.
Serena: “There’s really no rush, I already opened it… see?”
Oh no she didn’t! Wait, now that I actually look at the envelope I can see once again she is just teasing me.
PJ: “You’re a meanie!”
Serena: “Uh huh, so you want it or not?”
Yeah, totally not going to fall for this……… again. I will just turn away and cross my arms, showing no interest whatsoever so she lets her guard down.
Serena: “Not this again.”
What does she mean AGAIN?! She is trying to trick me into giving away my plan, but it won’t work.
Serena: “Just take it.”
Nope, you’re going to play into MY hands this time lady.
Serena: “Hurry up and take this so we can meet up with my dad.”
Okay, maybe I have tried this whole lunging at her thing before and I believe it ended up with me eating carpet then too. At least she helps me up each time, that is a true friend.
She hands me the envelope and I tear into it and attempt to scribble my name at the end, but Serena rips it away!
PJ: “Hey! I was signing that!”
Serena: “Don’t you maybe want to read it first?”
PJ: “That is what I have been waiting for! I would agree to any deal!”
Serena: “Yeah, that’s why we are going to dad’s so he and Thomas can look it over for you first.”
PJ: “So not cool.”
Serena: “That and I am going to get them to buy us some bus tickets if everything works out.”
PJ: “Score! I love the bus!”
Serena: “You would be the only one.”
I suppose I should read this, but only when I am sure Serena is not looking because I got a reputation to keep up around this joint and you know… her.
::Greyhound and GO!!!::
Waving my good-byes, joy fills my heart because I love my adopt-a-family to pieces. Most people get on planes, but those people have money and friends who want me to work my way up from the ground up so I appreciate everything that much more.
Serena: “Are you excited?”
PJ: “Duh, you already know I am dude.”
Serena: “Me too, who knows maybe you get to pick a tag team partner and I can get in that way.”
PJ: “Uh huh, I was wonderin’ when you were going to try using my success to get your own.”
Truth be told, I was gonna look into this, but what are friends for if not to give each other a hard time?
PJ: “How’d you get your old man to buy us these fancy tickets anyway? I thought we’d be hoofin’ it for sure.”
Serena: “Truth be told, you know I work local shows myself and I figured you’re good for it so I actually bought the tickets.”
PJ: “Sera!!! You lil’ enabler!”
Serena: “You would do the same for me, right?”
I nod, because of course I would.
PJ: “I certainly would, but I appreciate it you big spender you! You really shouldn’t have though.
Serena: “Bus tickets aren’t that expensive anyway. Don’t worry about it.”
PJ: “Uh huh, says the person who has worked shows before and makes regular income already.”
Serena: “So will you now.”
PJ: “Hey, that’s right! Coolio! Anyway… I gotta pee, so let me out pwease?”
Serena: “Sure, don’t fall in, runt.”
Talk about an obstacle course just to use a nasty bathroom! I am literally tripping over all the feet and everything else that is slightly in my path, but I make it and lock myself in. I pull my phone out of my pocket because why not broadcast from a bus toilet?
“So my followers have gone up substantially and that is cool. I guess word got around that I am the latest talent signed by Championship Wrestling Federation.”
It’s a little weird too, you haven’t even seen me wrestle yet dudes, but whatever you do PJ, don’t say that al-
“It’s a little weird though, none of you have seen me wrestle. You just see some pictures of a girl and decide to follow her?”
Smooth, PJ… real smooth... play it off, just go with it like you meant to do it or something! Yeah, that’s it!
“I’m just not used to having anyone noticing me, but don’t worry that will turn around. I mean a wrestling company is actually willing to pay me, so clearly I have turned heads and gotten noticed, but that is not the reason for this lavatory lowdown. You see, I’m the type-o-gal who likes to stalk her employer and do a little reading up or at least pretend to in between watching cat videos on YouTube.”
I cannot help but laugh, lil excited here!
“Low and behold though what do I find by accident? I apparently have my first match that isn’t really a match, but it is in a ring against a lot of people who don’t know me and I don’t know them, so there we have it!”
Breathe, PJ… just breathe.
“This is like a battle royale kind of rumble right? Not really a match suited for someone who likes to fly around, but hey hopefully I do not get caught and eliminated. Hopefully people try and wind up eliminated because they underestimated me. A lot of people tend to do that honestly.”
I lift my shoulders and tilt my head to one-side.
“I’m quick, I’m not stupid. I am in this profession so clearly I have to know something about something. The real kicker though is the winner of this match walks out with a guaranteed title opportunity at Wrestle Fest V. What a great welcome to a company and whoa the pressure! Not everyday lil’ ole me gets an opportunity like that.”
Whoa! That’s a speed-bump… almost fell in. That would have been quite unfortunate.
“I know the thing to do would be to talk about the other men and women in this match, but I don’t know them! Call me crazy, but I’m not the kind-o-gal who doesn’t like to speak ill of anybody, especially people she doesn’t know. So how about just how I am feeling about the whole thing?”
Big, deep breath PJ! Take it all in and get ready!
“I’m overwhelmed and intimidated by the whole situation, but at the same time hoping that it never stops and I always feel this way. This is what I have been working so hard for. This is what I have been struggling for day after day and night after night. Working dead-end jobs to pay the bills and training when I am not sleeping.”
Pretty sure my opponents are going to watch this and laugh at the new girl wearing her feelings out there for everyone to smack around like their own personal punching bag.
“My opponents should know I am not to be taken lightly though.”
Totally predictable, I know!
“I am not going to change and I just know what I have to offer is going to bring me everything that I ever wanted. Gosh, I feel like I already have everything I ever wanted. I’m literally getting paid to do what I love. So now is the time to prove to everyone what I already know and that is; I belong here and I will do whatever it takes to be the very best. It’s not the size of the dog, it’s the bite!”
I’m one nasty cliche, I feel gross!
“I have the opportunity of a lifetime and I am not like any other person who has ever stepped inside of a wrestling ring. I’m going to give it my all at Gold Intentions in order to walkout with a shot at the world heavyweight championship match because I’m PJ Blake and I belong! I really do… now if you excuse me I really have to go-go-go!”
I stop recording and proceed to do my business before joining my buddy Serena.
Serena: “You were gone awhile.”
PJ: “Was I?”
Serena: “You realize you weren’t quiet in there, right?”
Crap! Bus stalls aren’t… okay I hear it now… that’s gross.
PJ: “That dude gotta bad chimichanga.”
Serena: “PJ… tell me you didn’t post a vlog from back there while you were on the toilet.”
PJ: “I wasn’t using the toilet while I was recording if that’s any better.”
Serena: “Barely… but it’s something.”
This is going to be a good time, I can feel it… I know it!
The home of sights I have been warned against for as long as I can remember and now the home of my CWF debut; you know, where it all began! We have arrived and we are ready for what comes next, whether it is a victory or a defeat. Things will be learned, but ya’know a victory would be awesome-sauce so here’s hoping I pull one of those out of my backside and shock everyone watching around the… whoever is able to tune into the program. I got my best friend by my side and all is good. So we’re off that bus and ready to embark on this crazy ride. Let’s do this thang!
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."