Chapter 1: Hope
"It's faster horses, younger women, Older whiskey, and more money" -Tom T. Hall
[A Kyuseishu travel blog]
I spent the morning with my trainer “Wild Cliff” Perlow a former MMA mastermind. It wasn’t easy to say the least, unlike the ladies of New Orleans. Why do you think they call it the big easy anyway? Perlow set up 30, 200lbs dummies, all in the ring that I had to: suplex, do 30 pushups, 30 sit-ups, and then toss the dummy over the top rope. It was exhausting but it’s God’s will that I win that damn rumble.
My month has been full of intense strength and speed work outs. Mix that with nightly MMA sparring sessions, and this old horse is ready to run; or collapse. I feel strong about my ability to win the Golden Intentions, because I have put the work in. I’m as strong as a comic book movie box-office, in this progressive age of nostalgia.
A lot has been on my mind lately, including a visit to my father’s grave later this afternoon. Mix that with a call from the ministries home office for a meeting at headquarters to get an explanation of my mission and my mind is a racehorse on roids. What could my mission be? Why was I assigned back to wrestle in America, and the CWF? This land of yours and mine has changed so much for the worst since I left what’s the point of saving it?
This the one nation under God used to be filled with heroes, thinkers, and leaders but has quickly slid into a nation of social influencers, victims, and cosplaying weirdos. I saw a guy dressed like a gosh darn sonic the hedgehog, scarfing down tacos on a Tuesday, in a decaying malls food court. I mean you’re out in public for God’s sake act like it! When the hell did all the cowboys leave the range to move to Boys Town, giving up the grind for the grinder anyway? To each their own but mannnn the symbolism is striking.
I feel like an 8 track in an era of Spotify or a slow-moving spiritual awakening in the days of on-demand full of people with no attention spans. The world is spinning at a breakneck speed thanks to a technological age that has eroded our structure of daily life, pierced our laws, and redefined our social interactions. A few hundred years from now if we as a species survive, our offspring will look back at this as a rebirth of humanity. How is it that we have more access to information than EVER in our world’s history, yet so many people are willing to accept what they are told with out doing the slightest bit of research. It’s alarming.
We are learning to live again, and right now it’s uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable, and honestly it should be. Although I’m not sure what my mission is from the home office, but my personal goals are clear. Become the most hated, feared, and powerful wrestler on the roster. It’s not going to be comfortable, but it will be violent. It’s not going to be sensitive, but it will be offensive. Before I’m done everyone will hate me, and what a perfect start by winning CWF’s prized rumble.
As Lizzo says “Truth Hurts, needed something more exciting” and my child I have arrived. I will redefine what a heel is America in 2019. People are way too soft and sensitive, and I refuse to cater to their sensibilities. Be uncomfortable or be damned.
Now off to the airport…
CHAPTER 2: Drama
“Bring it on home to me, yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)” --Sam Cooke
The gray background blends between the green grass of the matching gray tombstones perfectly aligned in a somber row of order of lives once lived. A slight breeze lightly shakes the leaves of the groomed trees that add beauty to the death park. Kyuseishu walks gently in an all-black workout suit seemingly heading toward a specific grave.
Birds in the trees sing joyful dirges littering the silence bringing a reminder of life to such a bleak place. Ky soaks in the sounds as his head is completely clear of anything but memories of his fallen earth father Duke Williams. He’s never visited his grave site before.
His absence of not visiting the grave wasn’t for reasons of bitterness, or insincerity, but rather convenience. Some people take great comfort in visiting a grave, while Ky sees it more as a self-serving tip of the hat to ones own spiritual assemblies. Live your life for what it is, not for what it was, but never forget those who made you who you are. Memories aren’t tangible, but a life lived is; are his thoughts.
Elwood “Duke” Williams is chiseled into the grey granite of the tombstone. Ky kneels in front of it placing a yellow rose upon its Texas grass. His eyes are misty, and his heart is torn as the memories permeate his feelings. That old familiar feeling of needing a parent’s hug that is imbedded into us as children, and always remains, warms him body. There is also a sadness caused tingle down his spine as his brain informs his heart that receiving such a hug is impossible.
Kyuseishu: I never hated you. I never didn’t love you.
Only the birds listen.
Kyuseishu: I’m sorry I missed your funeral. It pains me that I couldn’t be there, and it’s one of my life’s biggest mistakes. I, like you, had to fight. I had to wrestle. I had to be the best. I was a champion. You missed a lot of my life on the road doing the same. I was mad. I was resentful. I was bitter. Now I understand. I get the pain you carried in your heart. I understand why you drank. No matter how hard I pushed back you always supported and loved me. No matter how many times you failed me, you always tried. Thank you, father, and I hope you know I always have you in my heart now and forever.
Kyuseishu kisses the grave before standing up staring to the clouds. He’s crying looking to the skies waiting for a sign or a miracle which never comes. He reaches into his pocket to pull out a small airplane bottle of Jack Daniels. He twists the cap off and pours the whiskey into the ground below him. He drops and leaves and walks away trying to regain composure.
Warm gray sky above
Spring tears from blue eyes rain down
Falling on cold stones
The saddened savior says his haiku to no one, as he keeps walking past random names with stories we’ll never hear. Although this was the first-time visiting Duke’s tomb it is not his first time in this cemetery. Many generations ago a fraternity prepping for a savior’s return built a headquarters and temple in this cemetery to be able to function outside the preying eyes of the uninformed.
Kyuseishu reaches the section of the cemetery where the private mausoleums sit. Mini shrines of stone crafted for the rich. A man with a sword stands near the entrance of a large 6-person family sized mausoleum. The family name at the top reads “Crowley” as two pillars are carved into the sides while 3 steps lead to the door. Ky walks up a step, but the mystery man places the sword to Ky’s throat.
Mystery Man: Halt, what do you seek?
Mystery Man: Acceptance to what?
Kyuseishu: The worlds knowledge.
Mystery Man: What is your business.
Kyuseishu: That of a traveler.
Mystery Man: A traveler from where?
Kyuseishu: The west by way of the east.
Mystery Man: Acceptance to a travler is but a password.
Kyuseishu: It is.
Mystery Man: Speak it to me.
Kyuseishu: I did not hear it, nor will I impart it.
Mystery Man: How will you enter?
Kyuseishu: I will break it with you.
Mystery Man: Break it and start.
Kyuseishu: No, you start.
Mystery Man: You have to start.
Mystery Man: Dit
Mystery Man: Ditka
Kyuseishu: Mike Ditka.
The sword is dropped to the guard’s side as Ky opens the door to the crypt. It’s a dark crypt with a single light. All the shelves are empty except for one on the lower level with an open empty coffin. Ky tosses himself into and lays back as the coffin slowly lowers to the base underneath.
When the casket hits the bottom floor, Ky raises up Undertaker style. The room has four stone walls and is brightly lit by white florescent light. There is a golden door on the far side with a face scanner lock. Ky gets up and heads to the door as the casket again raises back up to crypt level. The scanner recognizes his face and the door opens.
The next room is a square temple with an alter in the center of it. Statues of mythical figures, known scientists, religious icons, and even a few entertainers/artists line the walls sparkling crafted in solid gold. An old man dressed in a butchers apron and blue jeans approaches Ky. The click clack of his dress shoes echo off the floor with every step.
Man: It’s good to see you Kyuseishu. I thank you for your speedy arrival.
Kyuseishu: Of course, grand butcher. I hope all is well.
Grand butcher: Things are fantastic!! We now completely control the media and can sway and divide the general public with great ease. I hope the “OK’ tactic saw to your needs?
Kyuseishu: It did. How did that happen?
Grand Butcher: One of our technical branches of force on 4-chan planted some seeds and the media ran with it. It’s fantastic. When you get a chance spend some time on the conspiracy section of Reddit. We have brought in some of the great writers of our time to craft these tails that shake the bee have of American society.
Kyuseishu: When I have some time, I’d love to sit down and really learn about all this master manipulation. Butcher always slaughter the weak while feeding the righteous. Sounds like the eating is good.
Grand Butcher: Delectable. Have you still been having conversations with God?
Kyuseishu: We talk often. He’s enjoying messing with the weather and really riling up the scientific communities.
Grand Butcher: God always did hate science.
Kyuseishu: Indeed. Not to be rude Grand Butcher but I must catch a flight to New Orleans in a few hours to do an afternoon driver radio appearance.
Grand Butcher: Yes I apologize, lets catch up in my office where I will give you your orders.
The two men walk towards another door leading into a typical office with a desk in the center. The red carpet stands out in the room as does a carving of a wooden wild boar just behind the center of the desk. The Grand Butcher sits in his leather seat as Ky sits across from him.
Grand Butcher: One time in our world’s history a different kind of power was used that their technology came from. No, they didn’t have smart phones, or computers per say, but they did have a stored and controlled power that was able to run machines. That’s how the pyramids came to be. As a matter of fact, we believe the pyramids themselves were power stations that fed energy to the communities.
Kyuseishu: I have read some on this subject.
Grand Butcher: As the power grew so did the kingdoms that harnessed the energy. Weapons of war were created, and humanity simply didn’t have the order to hold society together nor did they understand the power they were unleashing. They were driven by destruction, after all they were a society that worshiped cats who, as you know, are always knocking things off tables.
Kyuseishu: Yup! I spend hours on youtube watching funny cat videos. During my training to become a samurai I had to spend a month on an island of cats. It’s how stealth and night hunting is learned. Hell, in Tokyo it not hard to find those toy dispensing machines with the junk in the plastic eggs only instead of toys they have hats for cats. I love Japan.
Grand Butcher: I see. It was about this time the butchers of old saw that technology was going to end our planets existence and our space travels would end. They enlisted your dads help in hope for a reset of sorts.
Kyuseishu: Ahhh yes the story of Noah and the great ark. A rainy year was instore for the world.
Grand Butcher: Right. Word was sent to farmers and shepherds to build and seek high ground. Animals were herded and seeds were stored. Millions of farmers and animals headed to the high ground while the rest of the world laid ignorant to the warnings from the religious fanatics.
Kyuseishu: Right the world was wiped out, the farmers reclaimed the lands, and humanity started over this time with a slightly better understanding of how to cultivate the land. What does this have to do with me?
Grand Butcher: All that technology was lost, and so was its knowledge as to how that power was harnessed. Farmers weren’t educated in the ways of technology nor did they even know how to read or write. However, Humanity evolved over thousands of years and found a new power. Electricity. The original power was forgotten, and the world moved on. Recently our efforts have found the lost city of Atlantis.
Kyuseishu: You might want to rename it as the found city of Atlantis.
Grand Butcher: Yes, perhaps. We’ll take that under advisement.
Kyuseishu: Again what does any of this have to do with me and CWF?
Grand Butcher: It’s time to once again purge the world of its technology. Your father God almighty has decided to flip this heavenly switch that reverses the magnetic poles. North will be south, and south will be north. This geomagnetic energy shift will be a disaster to the world as all technology will become junk. The power plants that grid the cites, which provide power to pump that controls the water that runs to homes will no longer work. Phones, TV, Radio, will stop working so communication will be impossible. Cars and trucks won’t run so no food will move. The people will take to the streets and blood will be shed in order to survive. Boats, planes, rails all a thing of the past, the nations will be on their own to start over. You see how this could be troublesome.
Kyuseishu: Wasn’t something like this happening on the TV show lost?
Grand Butcher: I don’t know I only watched 3 seasons.
Kyuseishu: Weird, me too. But I hear the Wire is really good.
Grand Butcher: Getting back on point the world is headed towards anarchy.
Kyuseishu: That’s it I’m moving to Montana. If all this is about to happen can’t I take some time to do a little Noah and prep instead of wrestling?
The old man pulls a candy cane from his desk and starts sucking on it while he talks.
Grand Butcher: Back to the lost city of Atlantis.
Kyuseishu: Found city really seems more appropriate.
Grand Butcher: Fine, the found city of Atlantis. It holds a script that tells us how the old power was created and harnessed. If we can decipher its language code, we can take this power and shape society in our vision from scratch. We will be bringing light to a literally dark world. No longer will the butchers be a secret society but rather the controlling power of all society. We could eradicate the troublesome, and cultivate the chosen. The top of the pyramid will be achieved, and your fathers’ glory will be fully realized. Humanity could become whole, we can save spaceship earth, and we will be ready upon our arrive to the great meeting of life at earths destination the most evolved species of all.
Kyuseishu: Have you been getting stoned and reading L Ron Hubbard again? Please, I must get to my plane. I don’t see how I fit into any of this.
Grand Butcher: The CWF world title.
Kyuseishu: I’m working on it. You don’t just arrive in a federation and take the title. This isn’t 1994 fantasy wrestling on creepy message boards, and AIM chats. This is real wrestling, an industry, a booking complexity that is steeped in respect and paying your dues until the promoters trust you. Once they do only then will you be given a chance to face the champion and take his title. Trust me I know. Why is the title so important to you anyway?
Grand Butcher: The cypher to the Atlantis scroll rests on the opposite side of the titles side plate.
Ky laugh’s laboriously at the thought of this while the old man just gives him a stern look.
Kyuseishu: This sounds like some crazy ass Indiana Jones type jive. How did this cypher get there? CWF isn’t ancient. It’s a modern-day company. The title hasn’t existed long enough to have any of this make sense.
Grand Butcher: Certainly, you have noticed the CWF has druids, dark characters, and dubious stories. We don’t know when it was placed on the side of the title or why. It could have been a past champion for all we know. We do have a theory. We believe the man whom did the craftsmanship of the title belonged to another clandestine society. One whom deals in preserving language and code by hiding them in art and architecture. The very things humans tend to protect and preserve. We think he held the cypher for some time, but his society was fading and he was dying. He carved the code in a few places and items protecting them just in case the world ever needed it’s knowlege. We need it now.
Kyuseishu: How did you find out it was in the title?
Grand Butcher: I can’t tell you at this point I must protect this information.
Kyuseishu: Great way to not have to explain another plot flaw.
Grand Butcher: Now go my son you have your orders. Win that title at all costs and as soon as possible.
Kyuseishu: That is my intention….My Golden Intention. If I fail, I will keep working until the job is done.
Grand Butcher: So mote it be.
Chapter 3: Communication
“Hat down, cross town, livin' like a Rockstar/Spent a lot of money on my brand new guitar” –Lil Nas X
After a long plane ride, lots of reflection on his mission, and hours of playing RimWorld on his laptop the Kyuseishu finds himself in a radio station greenroom. It’s the Larcher & Lorensen show, New Orleans most popular afternoon drive program. Ky sits listening to the show through the speakers in the room while eating some yogurt.
Larcher: So what are your next plans Lil Nas?
Lil Nas X: Another remix of old town road. What else? I’m thinking of one with some smashing saxophones like Sade, and “Smooth Operator.’
Lorensen: Hell yea, or some Alto Reed action on Seger’s “Turn the page”
Larcher: My sax song is Gerry Rafferty’s, “Baker Street”.
Lil Nas X: Maybe a flute version, or perhaps we can revive Pharrell’s career. Old Town Road Remix featuring Pharrell.
Larcher: How about a gospel version featuring our next guest the Pontiff of Pro-wrestling, the Moses of the Matt, the artist formerly known as Hoyt Williams, your savior and mine Kyuseishu! He’s up next after this short time out. Lil Nas X good luck on your second hit or your 2000th remix of old town road!! See him live in concert this Sunday night, at the Misty Blue café downtown New Orleans.
The show goes to break as Lil Nas shakes hands with the guys and Kyuseishu, who has walked into the studio. Lil Nas exits as Ky puts on his headphones and sits down across from the hosts waiting for the commercial break to end.
Larcher: Alright we our back and standing before me is the SAVIOR himself the Kyuseishu who June 12th, at the Golden Intensions 6, LIVE at the Superdome, will be in an intense rumble match for a shot at the world title at Wrest Fest V. Tickets are almost sold out, and if you can’t be there by god, order it up on Slack.
Lorensen: I have tickets, and I can’t wait for it. Ataxia is totally going to take it.
Kyuseishu: Excuse me? Sinner I don’t think you understand whom you have standing before you. I am the greatest wrestler to ever exist. I am the greatest man to ever walk the earth. I am the second coming of your savior; I am your Kyuseishu~!
Larcher: I apologize for my friend’s crazy sinful prediction. Ataxia are you kidding me? Ky all the way.
Kyuseishu: I honestly can’t continue with him asking less than logical questions. Is there anyway you could cut his mic? If not, I think I may have to exit.
Lorensen: See ya pal.
Larcher: Mr. Producer please cut off his mic.
Lorensen is seen talking but his voice is nowhere to be found from the speakers.
Kyuseishu: Much better.
Larcher: I agree. So, you won your first match against Will Beckenhall who also is in the rumble. Did you get the ring rust off, and are you ready to jump in the ring with some crazy good talent?
Kyuseishu: Fat man do some jumping jacks for Jesus while your Kyuseishu explains it to you. Whisperin Bill was just the first of many in a path of a Holy War. Golden intentions, the LORDS WORD will be realized as I set my sights on taking the cheap route to the top. Rising with a spring jump, like Jesus in April! Lots of people need to fear me, for I will derail their wants and wishes like the reality of our world where your prayers are unanswered because you don’t deserve them to be. Weirdos like that crass sinning nasty woman false savior Ataxia will be extinguished. Autumn Raven is a poor influence on children and a waste of space if you want independence seek it elsewhere quote the BIBLE forever the best seller. McKail, Chaos, Youngblood, Ford and that has been Troy who had to marry into relevance, none of them are worth the airtime and I will expel them all with ease. Lucy isn’t wild enough. Jarvis knows kings fall. Rayne is to dry. Mora’s off his mark, out of his mind, and ain’t got a shot. Dick Dweck is simply a Dwick head whom nobody likes, especially God. The man I want to toss out the most is that pompous false god Olympus or as I call him Darius the delirious. He’s a great example of why we need boarder control. His very existence, is insulting to whom and what I am. Eat a bologna sandwich muscle man because you’re about to feel the wrath of God. MJF? Really. Lady you may be the eye of the storm but storms never last, and neither will you. Who am I forgetting?
Kyuseishu: Keep jumping fat man, and with better posture. It really doesn’t matter who else I’m forgetting the fact remains. I have a mission, and I will complete it. That belt matters more to me than anything else in this world as a matter of fact the world itself needs me to win it to be saved. I will stab, slash, and evict anyone who stands in my way until I’m the only man standing. June 12th the crusade shall begin. The water will turn into blood, the weak will be slaughtered, and heaven’s light will shine down. See you sinner there, order now, or be shunned for eternity.
Kyuseishu drops the headphones and walks out as Larcher is sweating doing jumping jacks.