I came out and made an open challenge for the next edition of CWF Evolution and I got my reply a man by the name of Nathan Paradine. The dude is some sorta submission specialist, someone that goes out there and just grinds people down to the mat and then tries to break body parts off and hand them over to the ringside fans. I don't know a lot about the man, to be honest I know next to nothing. Went and looked up his little bio and to be honest didn't really give me a lot of information. Just that he is Australian apparently. I mean you look at the mans record and that is a little bit misleading, his won loss record probably doesn't tell just how talented the man really is. I mean you look at his skill level and he is probably a very dangerous person to get in the ring with. I have faced a few guys over the years that were very talented as far as submission wrestling goes the last one I faced was a man by the name of Nighthawk, very talented, loved to grind matches down but in the end I was able to out smart him. See being a man that loves to try and out think his opponent submission wrestling is something that I both am apprehensive about facing and love facing at the same time. It means that I can get caught in a move and a few things can happen. I can be caught in a total bad spot and have no choice but to tap out or risk getting injured. But there is also a chance where the submission move can also be countered in a variety of ways, I could counter the move out right or I could simply find a way to turn the move into MY advantage and believe you me as someone that has been doing this for a while I can sure as hell find ways to turn a move into MY advantage. I mean is getting me to tap out your only objective Nathan because if it is then you are going to be sadly disappointed. I don't tap out very often, I have had a laundry list of injuries over the years so pain is something I am very familiar with.
So what I am saying is this, bring your best man. I want you to try and grind me into the mat. SO many people have tried to do it in the past. All this match is to me is just another way for me to get my name, my legacy out there a little bit farther. I have said from day one that I am building my legacy, not trying to do anything else just want people to know the name Noah Hanson. Now whether you love me or hate me it doesn't really matter to me. What does matter is that I am going to go out there and put on the best possible match for some fans that may not have ever seen or even know who the hell I am. But hopefully what happens after the match is maybe I get a few kids to look up my Twitter page and click on that “Follow” button. Maybe I can inspire another kid to go out there and try to hone his craft the way I did all those years ago. I know I am not the youngest person in this business but you can damn well know this I am going to do everything I can to make sure the fans are entertained I am not going to come out and just say that I am better than you Nathan that is just plain wrong to do to you. I don't know the man, there is no way to judge his skill level or talent but what I can do is make sure I bring MY very best to the show and to show the fans of CWF that I am not going to disappoint them, that this man is going to do everything he can to put on the very best match he can. I want the fans to wanting more, I want the fans to wonder why they can get some more of their new obsession and well the answer is pretty simple all they have to do is stream it live from WWH.com or Hulu Live via the Noah Hanson link.
One thing is for sure that I am going to leave all your female fans panting, tongue tied and they are just going to be sitting in their seats craving even more even though their men, their boyfriends, their husbands are going to be sitting there. The ladies are going to be sitting there wondering if it is going to be OK to maybe slide a hand under their panties and believe me ladies if you feel the need to release some tension then by all means do and you know what there are the limited edition Noah Hanson panties that you can order off the NoahHanson.com website and for an extra five bucks I'll personally sign those bad-boys.
And fellas don't be upset with your ladies if they just can't take their eyes off me. I mean I get it men have trust issues already and for your lady to be watching someone and you see her closing her eyes and off somewhere dreaming about having Noah Hanson run his hands all over them. It must be tough to be a man these days and know that all you younger pups are getting outplayed by someone that is a lot older than you, more experienced and maybe even more than you expected but don't beat yourself up well on second thought that might be the only option for some of your fellas after this week. Some ladies are just going to be so starstruck, so lovestruck that they are just going to be useless to their original man. I apologize guys I really do I can't help that the lord above gifted me with good looks, natural athletic ability and charm that just seems to go on forever....oh and did I mention I also do movies and television. See ladies see all that and they just flock to me, like moths to a flame but guys it's not my fault. I mean if you fellas are really having that much problems with all this manliness I do encourage you to buy the Noah Hanson erotic costume for those of you that like to role play. I can probably get you a good deal if you wanna pair it up with the new Noah Hanson vibrator version 2 with the new rabbit extension. See that is why ladies love me so much, I am always there for them even in their dreams while all of you other so called men are out there lifting your weights, being general douche bag and not taking care of your ladies even when I am not there in person I am still there in some form taking it to your woman. Now I know that a lot of you dudes are probably ready to fight but you know what also happens? I get them all worked up, they see me, they start dreaming about what could happen and then they realize that they have to go home with you and be under satisfied. I mean I am sure that some of you try really hard, maybe some of you really bring it to but I have already gotten them all worked up all you have to do is take care of the rest of the business. So again you're welcome. See I am nothing but a giving, helping man, doing whatever it takes to help his fans male or female whatever it takes, where ever I am needed. Just call me a Sexvenger.
Now you know that there are families out there so kids also want to be just like this big, hunky, charismatic piece of man meat. And to be honest why wouldn't they, seeing the cars, money, fame what kid could only dream of being in these god damn shoes. I mean I have seen how the kids look at me, the fathers are usually glaring at me like they want to beat the ever loving dog shit outta me, the mothers look like they need a smoke and a drink and the kids they are just wanting to get a picture with me. See kids have goals just like every one else. I can't help it if they want to be just like me. To be truthful you parents should encourage it just a little bit more, nothing wrong with having a few more of me running around. See that is what all of you CWF peeps have to look forward to. You might have a bevy of young ladies that are going to be in need of medical attention and security that is going to need to handle angry husbands and boyfriends. Oh and don't worry WWH usually sends their mobile merchandise truck so that all the fans Noah Hanson merchandise needs can be met.
So in shirt in case I need to spell it out for all the CWF faithful and this is a time honored classic that has been happening for years.
Kids want to grow up to be me...
Your women will want to be with me....
And your men will wanna kill me...
It's not my fault that I was gifted with all this and so little time to share it but I am doing the best I can to make as many dreams a reality as possible.
I usually dabble in a couple things called fate and destiny but I don't think either of those apply here. I just want to make sure that people understand where I am coming from and how all this is going to play out. I am not looking to do anything to Nathan don't know the man, don't know what kinda person he is, don't know if I need to watch my back or anything like that. What I am going to do is offer you a handshake at the beginning and then we'll see how things turn out. I mean this is nothing but business, me showing up, meeting someone in the middle of the ring and finding out just how talented someone is and how I match up against them. Now I guess the real question is how are you going to respond when I offer my hand to you. Are you going to be straight forward and shake my hand or are you going to be one of those guys that makes it a bit personal and maybe slaps my hand away or maybe doesn't do a thing or maybe we get real salty and you give me the middle finger.
I wouldn't call it a mistake or anything like that but I would say that it would alter my approach as far as how I would look at you as a wrestler and a person if that is the way you decide to handle a friendly, sporting jester but then again who am I to throw judgment at someone about the way he does things. I have never been one to do things the normal way, I have cut corners, burned bridges and ended careers all in the pursuit of winning matches, getting titles shots and becoming as big a star as I can. That was also the old me, one that has long since passed, one that rarely comes to the forefront simply because that is not how I want to be remembered. My legacy has to be something more, it will be something more with each and every match. Not here to make changes or take over just wanting to show the fans here in CWF that an old dog can still have plenty of bite and plenty left in the tank.
Nope just an old man, riding off into the sunset....
Kansas City, KS
Rib Breaker Gym (Noah's own gym on his property)
Mood: Man all of sudden it is sticky balls humid
Spotify: “Live and Let Die” by Guns N Roses
Noah Fun Fact #13: His fav pasta is chicken fettuccine
Noah is shown working on a few moves with one of his sparring partners while his former tag team partner Justin Evers screams at him from the floor.
“Do you even know how to slip your fucking shoulders off the mat when he has you down like that?” Justin barked as his training partner worked behind him and slides his arm around Noah’s' face and starts to wrench in tighter and tighter. Noah squirms and slowly lifts his hips off the mat and then tries to turn out of it but the smaller, more flexible sparring partner releases the hold on his face and slips around Noah and grins a forearm into his jaw. Noah turns more onto his stomach and the sparring partner spins around now firmly on his back and tries to triangle his left arm but Noah uses his right arm to lock it away. Noah finally is able to push up and get to knees and elbows and slides out of the hold, stumbles and makes it to a standing position. His trainer partner slaps Noah on the ass and he turns around and his eyes narrow at the move and then smiles slightly. Former Wrestling Midwest Great Lakes champion Tami Weber is shown standing across from Noah.
I know a lot of you people, probably none of you know who she is and that is fine and dandy. All you need to know is that Tami was a very decorated mixed martial artist back in the day and she actually teaches a class in Cleveland these days but Noah needed a favor to get in some mat based wrestling and since Nighthawk wasn't answering his fucking phone he called one of the few bridges that hasn't been completely burned down and got the two former Wrestling Midwest stars to come to his place and get some sparring in. And to be honest Noah is a bit rusty at his ground based wrestling and he looked at as a chance to really get things back on track. But his mind was still wandering back to Vixen, to the baby and what their future might hold and he wondered to himself if he really deserved to be happy. And then he felt this sharp burst of pain in his shoulder and when he finally realized what was going on Tami has slipped around him and rolled him into a shoulder triangle and was wrenching back. Tami looked up and could see that Noah was not into the whole deal and released the hold.
“Come on man get yer freakin' head in the game!” She yelled at Noah and slapped him across the face. The hand print was almost etched like it was done in granite and Noah’s' eyes widened and then he turned to Tami.
“What the hell was that for?” He yelled rubbing his cheek with his hand. “Are you fucking mad?”
“Are you pussy whipped?” Tami asked as she angrily pointed her left hand at Noah. “See the thing is the Noah I remember would have never let that happen. Have you gone soft?”
“Excuse me?” Noah growled.
Tami shakes her head in what appears to be disappointment. “I've seen that look before in your keys Karen right?”
Tami pointed at Justin. “I remember her, she had your balls in a vice bro....”
Tami chuckled. “See never thought you were the type to go all domesticated but man all the years of making movies, commercials, television shows, they've made you weak, soft and sure as hell not that fucking fighting machine I remember.”
“A lot has changed over the years....” Noah said under his breath, almost apologetic. “I'm not the person that I was back then. Jackson Dre, Garvin, Umbrage hell you Justin. I did some shit back then that I wasn't proud of but I did it back then to try and make a name for myself to try and get over with the staff looking back in hindsight I realize that I did a few things that I never should have done to people. All for titles, glory, fame and the fans...always the fans....”
Tami looked at Noah and then walked over to him and put her arm around his shoulder. “Look those days are behind everyone, most people have forgotten all about Wrestling Midwest.”
“Well probably not Dre, the man still uses a cane.” Justin added.
“Point is that you have to learn to forgive yourself and let go of the past. Hell we had some great matches over the Ace Superior title and the Great Lakes title, those were the good ol' days. No Twitter drama, you had issues with someone you went out there and took it to the ring and settled it the old fashioned way. Fighters these days they are to busy running their cocksuckers on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Instagram, Reddit and probably on every street corner except for the one place they should be doing it...in the ring.” Tami complained about the current state of wrestling.
“Noah....” Justin said as he looked at his former partner. “....do me a favor show all these new kids how we used to do it....”
Noah nodded. “I'll do my best....”
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."