As the scene opens we find ourselves in a darkened room. An imposing shadowy figure sits in a velvet chair, his hands brushing through the fur of a unknown creature. A sliver of moonlight creeps through a crack in a curtain and glints off the mans star-shaped sunglasses. The man stands up slowly and walks towards us a sneer adorned upon his face.
"Gaze upon the vicious world around you, the pain and the sufferance seeps out of every pore of our pitiful existence. We as humans destroy everything our grubby little hands come across, we've spent our entire existence on this planet causing pain, death and suffering. Why does the human race partake in such destructive acts I hear you ask. One simple reason, simply because we're evil and because we can.
Look around at the modern world, we're on the verge of a catastrophic event, political turmoil, unrest and anger is boiling up and over. It is only a matter of time before the lid falls off the pot and releases it's deadly scalding hot contents all over society scarring it forever. We've seen it before many times throughout history and I promise you, we're on the brink of seeing it again.
The world and all of it's inhabitants are enveloped in deep rooted fear, it's very easy to see why so many people want to hide behind a facade of ignorance, well away from the disgusting excuse for a world we find ourselves in.
Take Tom Marrow for example, it's easy to see Tom, why you pretend to be a dog, a dog doesn't have to face the brutal reality of life. A dog doesn't have to even have a mind of it's own, it can just be an empty vessel, a mindless puppet controlled by it's master, oh what a simple life it must be when all of the choices are taken out of your hands.
I see you for what you really are Tom, just a scared little boy masquerading away behind the facade of a canine because you can't handle the cold hard reality of the life you've found yourself in. You can only hide for so long though, eventually no matter how much we hide away from reality, one day our inner demons are stripped bare and revealed to the world, we can't remain hidden forever.
This week Tom I'm going to tear away the pathetic facade you hide behind and reveal to the world the frightened little boy hiding within and once I expose the reality of your pitiful existence I'm going to put you down like the pathetic little animal you are."
As Thomas Roll finishes talking another Thomas Roll in a directors hat begins to clap.
"Wow that was great! Such passion! Such determination! I couldn't have put it better myself!"
The other Thomas Roll replies.
"You did say it yourself!"
"Oh yes so I did!"
Both Thomas Rolls congratulate each other with a handshake.
"Wait I'm confused if there are two Thomas Rolls which one of us is the real Thomas Roll!"
They study each other.
"There has always been two Thomas Rolls!"
Thomas looks confused , but then he remembers something.
"Oh yes I remember now there was that incident with those beavers that came down from space and cloned me for a day! Yes I remember now! So that means I'm the real Thomas Roll and the other Thomas Roll is the clone! What a weird world we live in!"
The other Thomas Roll vanishes out of thin air.
"Ah I guess the space beaver magic ran out! Anyway what was I saying! Oh yes Tom Marrow the wheelbarrow! This week we go one on one and believe me Tom this is a very personal battle for me you see...."
Pause for dramatic effect.
"My mother was killed by a marrow!"
The crowd make a shocked sound.
"Yes that's right a lone marrow fell of a vegetable shop shelf and crushed her to death! Twas a sad day for me and my family! So yes Tom I hate all things to do with Marrows! When is it we face off is it ToMarrow or is it the day after?!
I don't care what day we face off, because simply put I owe some sweet revenge for the death of my poor mother dear Doris Burger McDuffet the 3rd. Oh what a sweet name she has! I nearly cry whenever I hear it! Poor Doris WHY DID THEY TAKE YOU SO YOUNG! WHY DID THEY TAKE YOU BEFORE I WAS BORN! YOU MARROW BASTARDS!"
Thomas slams his fist down in rage.
"They killed my poor dearly departed before I was even born! Such a tragic turn of events. I was but a young man when it happened I remember it like it was 300 years into the future! How awful it was.
Well for the murder of my mother I sentence you Thomas Marrow to death by big whirly the most devastating finisher in the history of the entire world and I will carry out the sentence this week!"
All of a sudden the other Thomas Roll walks back into shot.
"Wait a minute I thought you were a clone sent down by space beavers?! Wait!"
Thomas Roll leans forwards and rips of Thomas Roll's mask.
"IT'S DJ GURTOOTH!"
DJ Gurtooth pulls decks out of nowhere and plays moves like Jagger and everyone dances as the scene ends.
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."