Title: The Xander Haze Show: The Return of Xander Haze
Featuring: Xander Haze
Date: Feb 9/19
Location: BC Hospital
Show: Modern Warfare 2019

Sept 20/2018

Xander: WHAT THE FUCK!!! No... Get away from me... Ahhhhhhh.

Xander awakens from his dream and realizes where he is still laying in the same hospital bed where he has been for months now. Due to the beating that he received in August the details are still very hazy to him as he had just woken from a coma days earlier. Xander tries to move and get out of bed but the realizes that his ankle is chained to the bed all of a sudden a nurse comes bursting through the door.

Nurse: Is everything ok Mr. Haze? I heard all the screaming and had to make sure that everything was alright is it sir?

Xander gives the nurse an angry, frustrated look then points towards his ankle.

Xander: Why the hell am I chained to this god awful bed?

the nurse rolls her eyes in annoyance 

Nurse: We have gone through this almost every day since you have come out of your coma Mr. Haze.

Xander develops a confused look on his face as he does not recall seeing or talking about this chain.

Xander: What the fuck are you talking about you must have me confused with someone else probably one of the other crazies that reside in this nut house.

Nurse: No Mr. Haze after you woke up from your coma you developed a sleeping walking disorder. You began wondering around the hospital so you signed a waiver letting us chain your ankle to the bed. You also in your sleep started to mumbling about someone named John... Oh and someone else named Zach do these names mean anything to you at all?

Xander searches his broken mind to find any connection to what the nurse has just told him but he finds nothing. He becomes even more frustrated now he had already been he then raises his voice towards the poor nurse who is just trying to do her job.

Xander: LISTEN LADY!!! I have no sweet fucking idea who these John and Zach guys supposedly just get me the keys so I can get the hell out of this chain.

Nurse: (With a fearful look on her face) I will send the doctor in right away sir.

The nurse leaves the room and within a matter of moments, a doctor comes walking through the door.

Doctor: Hello Mr. Haze my name is Dr. Adams how do you feel today?

Xander: Well let's see here I'm sitting here in this garbage dump the you "so-called medical professionals" call a, chained to a bed, and can barely recall any part of my life over the past year. So how in the fuck do you think I feel?

Doctor: I know right now everything seems confusing but given time and physio...

Xander:(Interrupting the doctor) What do you mean physio? I haven't needed physio for my cerebral palsy since I was a child and I'm dam sure I don't need it now I feel fine.

A concerning look dawns on the doctor face as he looks down at Xander's legs then returns his gaze to the face of Xander.

Doctor: I see that your short-term memory has yet to return or get any better.

Xander: I have no clue what you are talking about?

Doctor: That is exactly my point Mr. Haze this isn't the first time we've had this conversation and it most likely won't be the last time. I am not concerned about your cerebral palsy you've made great strides in your life when it comes to that. I am more worried about your legs more accurately the motor function towards your legs.

Becoming frustrated once again Xander snaps at the concerned doctor.

Xander: Listen doc I didn't go to a big fancy school as you did so how about you just tell me what trying to stay in plain fucking English. how about that?

Doctor: How about I show you instead Mr. Haze?

The doctor pulls a set of keys from his coat pocket and unlocks the chain from around Xander's ankle. He then pulls a wheelchair out from the closet and sets it next to the bed for Xander to use.

He Immediately scoffs at even the thought of using a wheelchair is insulting to him, he then pushes it away with his right and affected arm. He then slowly generates enough power to push himself to his feet.

Doctor: Ok great Mr. Haze now walk your way over towards me.

Xander: Get the hell out of my way I have to piss.

Dr. Adams moves out of the way, Xander takes his first step and falls straight to his knees. Adams rushes over to try and help but to no avail as furious Xander Haze pushes the good doctor away.

Xander: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!! I will do this by myself.

Again He tries to make it to his feet but fails once more by now Xander decides to drag himself to the washroom with his one good arm. Dr. Adams by this time has already called for help but it is already too late as has soiled himself on the floor. Orderlies come rushing into the room helping a crushed Xander back to his bed plus cleaning him up.

Dr. Adams returns a short time later to check up on his patient.

Doctor: If you are feeling up to it, it is time for your physio appoint...

Xander:(Interrupts the doctor before he could finish) I thought you guys said I developed a sleepwalking disorder?

Doctor: I'm glad to see that you remember this, this time days ago you couldn't even remember what happened an hour ago this is good news.

Xander: Shut up and just answer my question.

Doctor: Yes this is true Mr. Haze

Xander: well this seems pretty fucking unlikely since I couldn't even take a single step earlier. how do you explain this?  

Doctor: Well that's just the thing Mr. Haze I can't explain there are still so many things about the human brain that we don't understand. When you asleep it's like your brain's motor functions revert back to normal. So we know your brain knows how to walk hopefully with time and physio we are able to reboot it and fix the problem.

Xander: Hopefully? Fucking hopefully? You have to do better than that.

Doctor: Well like I said we don't fully understand the brain so this could take days, months, years or I'm sorry to say Mr. Haze we may never be able to fix your problem.

Xander: Shut up you've talked enough for one day just take me to physio.


Xander returns from physio now being able the hobble along with crutches in severe pain but refuses to use a wheelchair. He lays on his bed and begins flipping through the channels on his TV. He then comes across CWF ( Championship Wrestling Federation) and the match on at the moment was Zach Van Owen Vs Loki Synn. Everything about this event seemed familiar to him especially that name Zach Van Owen but he could not place it and eventually brushes it to the side and continues to watch the match. Xander then begins to have a conversation with himself.

Xander: What business does this child-like man have doing inside a wrestling ring it is the sport of kings not the sport of prepubescent virgins. I could destroy that weiner with bums legs and one good arm... oh wait hahahaha ( Xander chuckles at the stupid joke he has made)

Xander laughs even harder when he watches Zach get smashed in the face with a kendo stick shot.


After watching CWF once again Xander enjoyed seeing Zach getting beat by Loki Synn again. then hobbles off to his physio appointment for the day. When arriving he is met by Dr. Adams who is with an elderly man who at first glance seemed to have had hip replacement recently.

Doctor: Hello Mr. Haze I'm happy to see that you are doing better, I have a question for you this here is Angus and it seems that you two have double booked for physio.

Xander:  Ya so what's your point now get out of my way I'm going to be late.

Doctor: Well that is my point I was wondering if you would be willing to reschedule to a later date? So Angus can get his first appointment in.

Xander: No now get out of my way because like I said I'm going to be late.

Xander then pushes the doctor out of the way who accidentally fell into Angus who is immediately is knocked to the ground on Xanders way to physio with a sinister grin on his face.

Months later...

Jan 23/19

After months of Physio Xander has recovered almost in full with now with only a tiny limp on his right leg. Little by little pieces of his memory has been coming back to him, he remembers wrestling for CWF which is also why Zach seems so familiar to him. But he also remembers losing almost every single match he has been involved in at least the ones he can remember.

after finishing his god awful hospital food and turning on a replay of the Modern Warfare first round. When all of a sudden who should walk into Xander's hospital room but the nefarious private investigator John Kreese a he seems to be carrying the CWF Impact Title.

As Xander looks up from the TV he is immediately rushed with memories of his matches with Zach and all the devious acts of violence with John by his side. Also, the letter he receives with the creepy smile which was also at the site of his attack which Xander assumes was plotted by John himself.


John: well I'm glad I've caught you in such a good mood oh and look I've brought you a gift.

John then lays the title on Xander's lap he then pulls out his phone and snaps a few photos of Xander with the title. Xander then throws it back at John. 

Xander: Take it back where you found it now!

John: Why the hell would I do that?

Xander: Because when I am 100% I am going to put a beat on Zach so bad that he will beg me to take my title and end the pain. Now before I do what I said I would and end you tell me why you son of a bitch.

John: Why?... Why what?

Xander stands up from his bed limps over to John and unexpectantly grabs John by the scruff of the neck. 

Xander: Why did you have me attacked in my hotel room you nearly cost me my life. Now, WHY?

John: Calm down big man all I can tell you is that it wasn't me... But I can tell you who did it.

Xander: Then fucking tell me!

John point towards the TV screen just as Zach was winning his first round match in the Modern Warfare tournament.

Xander: Bulshit! he doesn't have the balls nor the know-how to pull that off.

John: I can prove it that letters writing analyzed and it turns out that it matches the Impact Champion's writing but don't worry I have a plan.

john pulls out two tickets for CWF EVOLUTION 41 Xander then lets go of John gathers his belongings and checks himself out of the hospital against Dr. Adams orders.

Weeks later...

Feb 5/19

After making it to their seat in the Golden 1 Center begins to tell Xander the plan for the evening.

John: you've been out of the game for a long time now and most likely a bit rusty so tonight we are just here to scout the competition.

Xander looks at John with great disdain then just nods his head in agreement.

Hours later...

Zach has just lost his match to a dominate looking Dan Ryan. With Zach on the mat riving in pain. Xander jumps out of his seat and begins to make his out down to the ring, John shocked by what's happening in front of him screams at Xander.


Xander: Fuck you! and fuck your plan this is the Xander Haze show and its time for my return.....

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