The Redemption of Jimmy Allen Part 1.
“Redemption is something you have to fight for in a very personal, down-dirty way. Some of our characters lose that, some stray from that, and some regain it.”
― Joss Whedon
It was a simple thing really, one final match. A match to allow two brothers to bury the hatchet. We did that and then some. Will this fix all the damage done? No, forgiveness and redemption don’t work that way. A single good act cannot wipe the slate clean. No matter how loud of an ovation I got after that match was over, my slate is far from clean.
I owe Dorian and Chloe much more than that.
I owe The Forsaken much more than that.
I owe The CWF faithful much more than that.
I owe myself much more than that.
This is just the first step on a much better path. This is simply the beginning of a new chapter, not a new book. The Jimmy Allen that you knew as part of The Hostile Takeover is dead and buried. Although, I don’t think I’ll ever quit hearing the sound of a shovel being slapped against a ring post.
What’s next for Jimmy Allen? That’s never easy to say, but I’ll say this, I still have a lot of work to do. As my father would say, “I still have a lot of damaged fence to mend.” I always hated his phraseology. That aside, he’s not wrong. To make things right takes time. It takes time and patience. More importantly it takes effort.
Effort from myself and those who were damaged because of the things that were done. Things that were done by me and those I was associated with. Even I am not arrogant enough to assume that forgiveness will be given overnight. Walking away from Loki and her group was difficult, it meant that I had to break my word again. That didn’t sit well with me, but it had to be done. I could not in good conscience continue to see the things she had done. By saying nothing and doing nothing about it, I condoned her actions.
You see kids, even if you choose to do nothing, you’ve still made a choice. Just like now, now I choose to right the ship. It has been listing and in danger of sinking for quite some time. Right now, this company is building towards an event of epic proportions. Modern Warfare. This is where our company invites wrestlers from all over to come in and have a shot at our world champion in a tournament. One thing I know from experience is that the champion doesn’t fare well in these scenarios. The deck is severely stacked against them.
With Jon Stewart and C$J running things, I’d expect nothing less. For Stewart, he enjoys the chaos. I know this from personal experience, seeing as how we’ve known each other for a decade. I don’t know C$J well enough to really even hazard a guess, but at face value he wants our champion to be able to take on all comers. Shadow, you damn sure have your work cut out for you. I both do and do not envy you, I do envy you for the titles. I don’t envy you for the path ahead, it won’t be an easy row to hoe.
Century Link Center, Omaha, Nebraska
After the tag team match….
I was pretty sure I had been in more pain before at some point in my life but I honestly cannot remember when. The hell that Dorian and I had put each other through in the doomsday match and then the subsequent tag team match. Two losses in one pay per view, I hate losing at anything but this was good. Despite the pain, my mind was in a good place now. The trainers and Dorian had helped me up the ramp, the ovation from the crowd had lifted my spirits. People say that redemption was not possible, but in my mind, I am on my way. I simply stay the course and these things will work themselves out.
I stand in the shower with the water washing the blood away, I feel the need to say something, even though no one is around….
Jimmy Allen: “How did it ever get to this point.”
I shake my head in dismay.
Jimmy Allen: “How was it that I thought that money and power would lead to anything other than what has happened over the past two or three months. How the fuck did you plot that course?!”
I finish rinsing off and grab the towel, I hold the towel to my face for a moment. Pressing it harder against my face. Then sighing into it and carefully drying my hair. I carefully make my way to the locker and begin getting dressed.
Jimmy Allen: “It wasn’t money, my finances have always been flush. What was it then? Pride? Ego? Arrogance combined with stupid?”
Again I shake my head in frustration knowing I won’t find the answers I need. Not here anyway,
Jimmy Allen: “maybe I’ll go home or maybe make a trip up to Philly. Haven’t been there in a while, maybe it’s time to visit some old friends.”
A few days later
One thing I’ve noticed over the years, Philly in January is just brutal. The temp is somewhere between cold and let me die somewhere warm please. My father used to tell me, “There’s a couple of things a Texan should never do. First, never go to Philly in January or February. Second, never go there in full Dallas Cowboys regalia, and yet here I am. The looks of hate and disdain amuse me as they always do. Yes, when in Philly I always wear my Dallas Cowboys ball cap and Zeke Elliot jersey. My arrogance just won’t allow me to leave that at home. I pull up in front of Dorian’s house. I grab the bags from “The Gaslight” and walk up to the door. I knock on the door and Chloe opens it with Dorian not far behind her. I hold up the bags of food.
Jimmy Allen: Peace offering, I just want to talk, not fight.
The look of concern tinged with consternation and even one might say caution is apparent on the faces of the Hawkhurst family. That’s certainly understandable considering the hell I’ve put them through the last months. It may have been the smell of chicken and waffles that overwhelmed their senses and they invite me in.
Jimmy Allen: they’re probably not as good as mine, but it was the best I could do.
I watch as Chloe blushes and we move to the kitchen. I look into Dorian’s eyes and see the pain, flashes of anger still exist there. I know this will be a long road, but you have to start somewhere right? We all eat in silence for a while and after the table is clear and the dishes are done, I stand up and reach inside my jacket pocket. Dorian reacts immediately reaching for my arm.
I stop my motion and look at him and in an even and steady voice.
Jimmy Allen: I know you’ve been reading a lot of scripture lately but that wasn’t intended to be your last supper.
A bit abashed he releases the iron grip on my arm and relaxes a bit. I pull the manuscript out of my inside pocket and hand it to him. As he holds it in his hands I now grab his arm.
Jimmy Allen: I know this doesn’t square us up by any stretch of the imagination. I wanted you to have this, you earned it a long time ago even if the people that ran the dojos didn’t agree when I told them I was doing this.
I look meaningfully at Chloe and then back at Dorian, releasing my grip on his arm I look into his eyes again. No anger, the pain is still there but confusion replaced the anger. The big man is a bit shocked and sits down heavily in his chair.
Jimmy Allen: All of the education you were denied, it's all in there. You don’t need their teachings, but you earned it. I wanted to make sure you had this. If you choose to use it, it increases your arsenal in the ring two fold.
He continues to sit there and look at the manuscript, his hands tremble slightly and he looks back up at me. I in turn look at Chloe.
Jimmy Allen: Baby girl, you are an amazing kid. I know that you and your dad are owed a great many things. An apology among them but I know you’re smart enough to understand that it wouldn’t make any difference.
Dorian starts to interject but I hold up my hand forestalling his rebuttal.
Jimmy Allen: Let me ask you something Dorian, if I throw a plate on the ground and break it. Then I apologize for breaking the plate. Does it magically fix the plate?
He glowers at me for the comment and I shrug, causing Chloe to laugh at both of us. Then out of the blue sticks her tongue out at her dad.
Dorian: I just told her basically the same thing.
I smile at my goddaughter and stand to leave.
Jimmy Allen: I know you have a tight schedule and need to get going soon. One thing I did want to say before I go. Thank you Dorian for coming out and saving my hide and Chloe, thank you for your forgiveness, it means the world to me.
Let the games begin…
Modern Warfare is an interesting name for this event. It’s an oxymoron when you get right down to it. There is nothing modern about this tournament. You take a field of thirty two people and put them against each other in a wrestling ring spread over days. It’s not modern, it’s a fucking gladiator pit. It is still war though, that much is true. Every single person in this field has something to prove. From the newly crowned champion to the people coming from other companies to partake in the fun.
My first round opponent? The Answer is what he calls himself. JC is one hell of a competitor, there is no doubt about that. D’awww, listen to me trying to be respectful and shit. Fuck that guy! Serious boys and girls, do you really think you get to just walk in here and take something from our company?! The men and woman that rep CWF will not be your stepping stone to something greater. You ain’t fucking moses JC, the red sea doesn’t part for you just because you said so.
Maybe you should get your own house in order before you start thinking you can come into mine and do damage. Oh, wait that’s right, you can’t because your wife threw you out. Do you think that the fans around don’t know about things going on behind the scenes in your life or mine? Back in the day, before the evils of the internet that would have been possible to hide. In the world today, with social media, the fans have been all over that shit like white on rice. Not exactly the kind of person we want to rep our world title.
I do know a few things about JC, I do pay attention to the industry unlike some people in this tournament. I know his tag team partner is Trent. I also know he’s looking to add a sixth world title to his resume. The thing is this chief, if you’ve been a world champion five times, that means you’ve lost it six times. Where as for me, I’ve never been a world champion. That is still my goal, and it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to me whether it was you or Shadow that ended up being my first round opponent. When you put something like that in front of me, I go for the throat. I do not fuck around.
You’ll find that in the ring and in life, you get the same version of me. I hide nothing, I’m vicious and I’m savage. I have the skills to be everything this company needs in a champion. I’m young and unlike most in this tournament, I’m hungry for that first singles championship. It means something to me, why they even give shots to people who have held championships elsewhere is another rant altogether. I would ask you your opinion but since when does the wolf worry about the opinion of the sheep.