// “The worst memories stick with us, while the nice ones always seem to slip through our fingers.”
//San Juan, Puerto Rico
Some beach, somewhere…
Where did I go wrong…
“What are your thoughts going into this whole show with WCWA?”
A pause. “I think it’ll be good to bring together stars from there and the stars from CWF for this show and those going forward. Definitely one that people won’t wanna miss.”
“One more question, Autumn. What’s your relationship with Chloe all about? We’ve seen her at a few of your matches, can we get your thoughts on it?”
...and that was the last of the conversation as Autumn opened her eyes, staring at the sun from behind her sunglasses, watching the few clouds float lazily by. Being here on the beach amongst the rest of the people, away from the flashbulbs and endless repetitive questions was giving her time to herself and time to just...be. There was no worry, no pressure, no nothing. In no uncertain terms, this was paradise. If she could stay here for the whole time they were in the country, she would be happy. There were a lot of things that she wanted at the moment. Most of them were obtainable, the others were just dreams and fantasy. Working to be something in the company was teetering on that balance of being obtainable and just a dream. What had happened between the beginning and now? She paused as a dark thought entered her mind, causing her to flex and curl her fingers in response.
“Some things you just can’t get away from, no matter how hard you try. Even being here I can’t get away from it. I try and think of the good things but, like the sand beneath me, they just fall away forever lost to the world. Some bad memories stick around a lot longer than you want them to, like a virus or a plague.”
Autumn let out a sigh, lightly digging her fingers into the sand beneath her hands, letting the grains pass over her hands slowly. If she kept going on with this train of thought, she would just end up repeating herself like she seemed to have been doing for quite some time. She could feel herself floating towards that little by little, and she shook her head.
“But if you work towards it hard enough, eventually, you’ll find the cure, the reason to get rid of everything that has haunted you. Step out of the shadows and into the light. You might not find it now at the current time, but eventually, the reason...the cure...will come and present itself to you if your patient. Some of you may not understand that whole thought process, but I do. A lot more than people would know.”
There’s a moment of silence from her, before she starts talking again.
“I’ve been repeating myself for far too long and carrying on with subjects that mean absolutely nothing to a lot of people, and I’ve come to this startling realization that if I want to attempt to do something worthwhile and start *being* something….start *meaning* something...then I’ve got to throw away the stupid book I’ve been sitting on and start writing a better one. Because it’s not gonna change unless I actively make the change. It’s not gonna happen right away, but little by little. Baby steps. If I gotta crawl my ass there, then bah gawd I’ll do it.”
Kids laughing as they splashed their way into the water reached her ears, followed by the rapid spanish of their mother. Probably telling them to be careful or something.
“There has been a lot of talk about Chloe and what her relationship is with me, why she’s been coming out to a few of my matches, etc, etc. Honestly, I don’t know how to begin explaining it. I don’t know why she’s been coming out, her of all people. I didn’t think anyone cared that much about *my* matches that much. That’s what I tried telling those reporters here. I haven’t had any hand in her doing it, and whatever her reasons are, I’d like to hear it because honestly….honestly...it’s...nice. Someone other than Dorian or someone else that’s actually there in your corner cheering you on even though you feel and act like shit is refreshing.”
“If Maestro and Fenrir can get along with someone as broken and messed up as me, then everything should go fine. I hope so. We’re facing the combined efforts of the team known as VENOM. Not just one, this is all three we’re talking about here. What should I say? We’ll win because we’re awesome, yada yada yada? Nah, because that’s just repetitive and no one cares. Let’s give VENOM the benefit of the doubt and let them speak for themselves. I’m sure they have their talents, but I’m more interested in re-writing my messed up story at the moment.
How should I end this….
May the force be with you?
Let’s go with that one.”
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."