Easy EB: Welcome back folks, again the Great Azrael is with me today, as always. Thanks for being here Az.
Azrael: My pleasure. I am happy to do it. To use your medium to help spread my message of love, hope, forgiveness, and reminding people they are not alone.
Easy EB: As long as people keep tuning in, I will keep sitting here asking a couple of questions and reaping the rewards.
Azrael: Well, I’m going to switch it up a bit today and ask you a question.
Easy EB: Okay, I get it, still bitter about that loss with the small package.
Azrael: Absolutely not. The small package is an underutilized move, in my opinion. Would I have liked to have won? Of course, I think with a title my voice becomes a little louder, reaching more people. But no, that isn’t why I want to ask you a question. I think it's time to discuss the dark ages and the lowest point in my service.
Easy EB: Holy Shit. We are really going to talk about this. You have been teasing it for weeks and now, out of nowhere you are springing this on me? Hell yeah you can ask me anything. I and the fans out there want to hear about this. You wouldn’t believe the amount of messages I get asking when we will get to this. You my friend, know how to tease a story.
Azrael: Well, thank you Brother. One learns a thing or two about storytelling in the time that I have been around. So my question to you is this. Have you ever done something so terrible, so horrendous, something so against who you truly are, just to have a need met?
Easy EB: I don’t think I’ve done anything too terrible. Are you asking about stealing bread to eat and stuff like that?
Azrael: No, more heinous to meet a less visible need.
Easy EB: Oh like pretending to be a rich successful wall street broker to impress a pretty girl so she’ll take you to bed at least once? No, I’ve never done anything like that before either
Azrael: Curious, oddly specific. I think you are being sarcastic. You are close. That sounds more like you were horny then what I was thinking about. Which is a need, so I guess it fits. But I was thinking more along the lines of feeling wanted, loved or included?
Easy EB: I’ve done somethings that I am not proud of pursuit of love, but nothing quite like that. I’ve always had my collection of friends and family that have always given me the sense of belonging and importance.
Azrael: Consider yourself very luck then my friend. Not everyone is as blessed as you. Have you heard stories about people doing extreme things to be included and loved?
Easy EB: I’m sure I’ve heard of stories in which people have killed another person just to be part of a gang. Oh, I had an uncle who was abusive of his children at home, but you would have never expected it. He was such a nice, kind generous man.
Azrael: I think that is what I am looking for. Tell me more.
Easy EB: Okay I guess. It's a bit of a sensitive subject for our family, but I know my uncle wants me to share the story as much as I can, in hopes of helping others. We sat down, and he told me this story once, as I needed story for my journalism class. So my uncle from the time my was a child, he knew he was loved by his family, his siblings, my father, his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and so on and so forth. But he was missing friends. He was missing the selection of people that selected to love him. The ones who were there and supportive not because of blood, but because of want. That deep down, he never felt he was good enough for those around him. He was good enough to know what he was missing. He didn’t have the pleasure of being ignorant.
Azrael: Why not, I would think that you are either in or out?
Easy EB: So no, he was always on the fringe. If people needed 4 people for a game, my uncle felt like he was 5 or 6 in line. If there was a party, he would hear about ti by the attendees So he close enough to enough groups of people to have a pretty good idea what is going on. That made things harder on him, seeing and knowing what he was missing out on.
Azrael: I understand.
Easy EB: The only thing that kept him going forward was the hope of having a family of his own. A wife who has chosen to spend her life with him. A couple of kids to complete the picture. That was his light at the end of the tunnel of this feeling of not being good enough to those who could chose.
Azrael: I am sure that the hope kept his insecurities hidden from people who could get him the help I am assuming he needed, since I asked about people doing things outside of who they were, doing horrendous things.
Easy EB: You are correct. He was able to hide it well, no one had a clue. He kept pushing it down looking at the light at the end of the tunnel to provide him with hope to make it. As long as he had that hope, the darkness never was complete. Until that light was put out. He likes to joke that it was not the exit of the tunnel that he saw, but a train coming at him. When he realized there was nothing he could do to stop his marriage from ending, he broke. I mean, there isn’t any other way of explaining what happened to him. In the years that followed, he reflected and realized that his own insecurities contributed to the ending. In an effort to have his needs meet he resorted to doing things, that gave him the results he needed, but that were not really him and cost him a great deal. .
Azrael: That is a really heartbreaking tale. I’m assuming everything has turned out well for him.
Easy EB: Eventually. It took several years of counselling for both him and his children. Years of rebuilding, no rebuilding isn’t right, but creating a new relationship with his kids he was able to find happiness within himself so that he could find happiness with others to enhance his life, rather than complete it. He learned that the only one you can trust to make you happy is you. Relying on others, they will let you down. It is extremely hard to make oneself truly happy, but to try and make another as well, is almost impossible. The weight of it all was just to much for his wife.
Azrael: Now, I think there is a big part of this story that you are leaving out. A divorce, while traumatizing for children, may cause a need for counselling it sounds like this was more than just the typical this isn’t about you, its about them comforting.
Easy EB: You won’t let me tease anything will you. You just know that I am holding something back and you want it out.
Azrael: Just being a good interviewer.
Easy EB: Is that a shot at me?
Azrael: Of course not.
Easy EB: Yeah right. Okay, I will tell you the story of the day he broke, the story of what my uncle refers to as the incident. The day happen two weeks after he was told his wife wanted to move out. Two weeks of the unknown. Two weeks of a realizing the hope you pinned your happiness to, was crumbling. Two weeks watching what made him complete and gave him his value and worth. Two weeks of knowing it ending, just not sure when. Until finally he couldn’t take it. He came home from work early because he couldn’t focus and concentrate. He started to hit the sauce, because he had a bit of this feeling the day before and that helped. It didn’t help. That feeling was still there when she finally made it home. Questions were asked, things were said, and my uncle resorted to violence. He ended up pushing his wife and being arrested. He also threatened the lives of his kids because she wasn’t happy because she never wanted to be a wife or a mother. He was going to let her be free. Of course, that isn’t how she took it., especially after he stabbed himself in the wrist.
Azrael: Desperate measure for a man who thought he had no other alternatives.
Easy EB: A man who thought he would never escape the loneliness and darkness that his life was. A man who was so desperate for inclusion and acceptance that he was willing to accept death’s embrace.
Azrael: That is terrible.
Easy EB: Well, getting back to your original question. The things he did included abuse of his children. He later realized what he was doing was just an attempt to stay needed and included. A way to deal with the frustration and fear that his wife had one foot out the door for all of their marriage. Living a life when at any moment what he had build would crumble. He built his worth, his life on a foundation of playing cards. Knowing that your worth will be blown over at any given time, it drove him to do dark things. Things that would grant him the response that he so desperately craved. Because of that fear. He ended up abusing his family. No, I am going to add a caveat to that that he won’t. I believe that there are different levels of abuse. It can go from true bodily harm, even death to a step above being too aggressive. This goes for both mental and physical. My uncle was on the lower end of that scale. He would lose his temper, push the kids around, and yell and scream. He realized that his actions did not match what the children had done, that they were excessive. He also wasn’t consistent in what set him off. After much reflect, he did it because he got attention from it. His kids would listen to him in that way. It did untold damage to the children and his relationship with them. All of this led to his break, which cost him everything in a matter of days. He lost his wife, children, home, and job in the blink of an eye. Because of one moment, which was too big for him to handle. One moment which he thought there was nothing left for him.
Azrael: That is such a tragic story. It is such a shame that no one saw the pain he was in, or saw his actions for what they were, a cry for help. I am sorry for his loss.
Easy EB: Actually, it was the best thing that happen to him. After his attempt at suicide, he was able to get the help he needed to find happiness within himself. He was able to rely on himself for that support. He built himself a foundation which is going to be hard to knock down again.
Azrael: See folks, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it is after the train runs you down, but its there. Just stick with it and you will get there. When you do, you will know that you have earned it. Thanks for tuning in, that is all the time for this week. Join us next week as we get farther into EB’s family stories. For Easy EB, I’m am Azrael, saying goodnight.
Easy EB: WHAT….WAIT….What about the dark ages? You promised………
[Static fills the airwakes as the transmission was terminated. ]
[Azrael is sitting on an ancient stone wall, in front of the remains of an ancient church. The countryside resembles the rolling countryside of southern France or Germany. ]
Azrael: Chirster, so you haven’t had enough yet. I beat you once, thinking that a loss would break the ego so that you could accept help. That didn’t work, so I let you have a victory, thinking that some good luck would open your heart. Nope. I even tried to lead you by example, and still nothing. You still have this unhealthy obsession with me and my God. You somehow believe that because I serve a different God, that it is an insult to you and yours. That is not the case my Brother. As I have always said, all Gods lead to the same place, they all just take different paths. Clearly, that is not acceptable to you. You want to take what you have determined to be sinful and corrupt activities and decided to punish those who commit them. Who in the hell gave you the power to make these decisions? Man was given free will to with as he pleases. It wasn’t given to man, with the limit that you have to follow what God says. No, that isn’t the way FREE WILL works. You Christer, you have taken it upon yourself to judge, jury and executioner in the name of your God. I am afraid that isn’t going to cut it any more. You see, when you commit heinous acts that you do in the name of religion, you are nothing more than a bigot and a terrorist. You try and justify your actions by claiming they are Odin’s desires. You feel you are the righteous man. That it is Odin’s will that you do. That is fine. Come Northern Crown, I will show you how wrong you are. I will show you your Odin is nothing more than a fairy tale. I mean, look at the stories. Look at his relics. Look at his power. He can wield a hammer, and uses that to punish. A hammer. One of man’s first tools. A tool that even monkey’s have developed. Odin needs a tool to instill fear into man so that they may worship him. What kind of God is that? What kind of supreme being needs a hammer to make man worship him? A pretty bad one. Now my God, well my God, doesn’t need a tool of man. No, my God can use the earth under our feet or the sky above our heads. He can use other men and women, to carry out his will. He can have people worship him without fear in their hearts. He can lead with love and compassion. While some, do not respond well to that love, those who have been poisoned by false Gods who need tools of man to increase the intimidation. Those individuals, they are in need of a more personal touch. But does my God come to deliver that touch? No Brother Christer, he doesn’t. He has an army of Angels to do his bidding. Angels who can help lift spirits, heal wounds and watch over and protect all of his creatures. Angels who are involved in the daily lives, of not just man but of every creature. Angels who share and spread his message of love, of compassion and of acceptance. He uses Angels to to embolden man himself to stand up and proclaim a message of love. Now, with man being given his free will, will take advantage of this situation and use God’s message as a way of doing wrong. Man, and his free will, will twist and contort God’s words to fit their individual message. Much like you are doing Brother Christer. God has a plan for those who are the worst of the worst. Ones who no longer are worthy of their free will.
[Azrael stands up, off the wall and walks toward a small bush, that has lost its leaves. The sky begins to darken as storm clouds move in]
Azrael: Those who are deemed no longer worthy of free will, will be punished by God. Since God does not want to rule by fear, he uses others to carry this out. Brother Christer, he uses me. His Avenging Angel.
[Azrael’s eyes roll into the back of his head as thunder is heard building up.]
Azrael: The Avenging Angel is the manifestation of God’s sovereign power used to protect and guide man. The Avenging Angel, once given a mission, can not be stopped by any human means. The Avenging Angel carries out the judgement of God on man through unstoppable violence. Christer, I am the Avenging Angel. I will carry out God’s judgement on you. The righteous will not rejoice solely in the vengeance I inflict upon you. They will rejoice, as they wash their feet in your blood, that His promise to protect and guide man has been proven yet again. This is the time that I release you from your imprisonment of anger and take what God has requested. Your mind, body and soul will suffer from the wrath of my VENGEANCE..
[As Azrael yells his last words, a bolt of light washes everything in a white, so pure, that is all that is seen. As vision returns, the only thing left standing were Azrael just was, is the bush, now burning, and a sword stuck into the ground.]
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."