Are you ugly?
A liar like me?
A user, a lost soul?
Someone you don't know.
Money, it's no cure.
A sickness so pure.
Are you like me?
Are you ugly?
Blood. Sweat. Tears. Not just the liquids of a human body. Each one has their own meaning. A symbol of the determination involved. Every time I step in to a ring, look to the mat, and see the stains of blood on the mat, I realize that I'm not the only one with a heart. I'm not the greatest to ever grace this ring, nor am I the greatest now...not yet. Sometimes the mind games of a burlap sacked fool do make you think on some things.
But it doesn't mean I can't become the greatest. I'm as much of a human as anyone else. Even with my delusional thoughts of superstardom, I realize that I am NOT unparalleled. I am merely flesh and blood. But there is more than just physical.
The mind is far stronger than the body. This, I've realized, is what can make you or break you. The mind possesses the power to overcome fears; repair wounds; and most importantly, a strong mind is the backbone of superstardom.
My mind was once weak. Clouded with thoughts of being the greatest. Thoughts so strong, they put a chokehold on reality, leading to the illusion of being a GOD. If my life had strictly evolved around wrestling, there would be little complaining. But I had begun to abuse my relationship with my better half.
I had always spoke about being a Saint, but the true saint was Aurora, and the unborn child still in her womb. I wasn't a hero, nor a household name. I am simply human.
I am the same as Crazy Chris. I am the same as Dangerous Dan. What I do, and how I do it, is no different from any man who brings themselves to a CWF ring. I just thought I meant more.
No one knew what it was like to be swarmed by fans; to be hunted down for autographs; or to even be photographed for hours. It all played a huge role in to the alarming speed of the inflation of my ego. I was a commodity.
Then I watched myself bleed at the hands of another man. I watched myself drag my name through the mud. Then I felt the stinging sensation of tears. There was never something like it. I'd never wish it on another soul. The free fall I took from the top felt like it was never ending; but the landing was far worse.
I've stood at the bottom before, but not so broken or crushed. I was at the first rung of the ladder again. But we fall only to teach us to pick ourselves back up again. My ego was my downfall.
I now realize my worth isn't supposed to be so material. I crossed a fine line. Now I had to mend the ties I had severed.
Time was no longer on my side. These were the later years of my life. I was soon to have a family. It was now or never.
No false confidences, and no illusions. I'd go with my skill and heart. I wasn't a wrestling god, nor a king, despite the gold around my waist and on my shoulder. I was a man.
I am Freddie Styles. Flesh and blood.
I couldn't believe it but I was finally moved back in with Freddie. After months apart we had decided it was finally time for me to be back at home. Home; that sounded funny coming from my mouth but I couldn't help it. It was time to get settled in, I was almost five months pregnant with our child and was starting to show. In fact I could even feel the tiny movements that the baby had started to make and everytime he or she did I smiled brightly. At this time on this date I was sat in the living room on the couch getting laundry folded. Things between Freddie and I were still tense but we were working through it. We hadn't yet made love since reconciling and I wasn't sure if we would any time soon. Think about it, I was getting sort of big and he could have any woman he wanted, especially Salem. This made me quite self-concious and unsure of myself. I looked at Freddie who had just come into the room and offered him a small smile before going back to my laundry.
So much had gone on in the past few months. It was more than a relief to know that Aurora was back in the house, back in my life. I had been so shitty to her, and everyone else close to me. It was good to finally be at ease with myself, and her. I just wish I hadn't dragged her through my stages of paranoia, and rage. It had been very taxing on myself and her, I was thankful she remained at my side.
I walked up to her, and gave a her a quick kiss on the cheek. She looked more beautiful than ever. I was probably the luckiest man alive.
"How's the little guy?" I asked, rubbing her stomach.
"Really good today." I said as I put a hand over his.
Freddie and I had recently found out we were having a son and I couldn't have been more thrilled. Granted our relationship wasn't back to what it was but it was on the right track. I looked at him with a small smile on my face as I took my other hand and caressed his cheek.
"How about you, how are you today? You look refreshed and calm finally. Any certain reason for that?"
"It's just good to have you back. Anything special you'd like for breakfast?"
I always found it funny how I was such a hard ass in the ring, now I was a pushover. I absolutely loved Aurora, and would go to the end of the world and back for her. I just hoped everything would stay this way. Without the possibilty that two months from now, I could turn back to the selfish asshole I had been for the last half a year. I wanted to change, became a better boyfriend, father, wrestler. I let my head get filled with far too much ego. I was trying to become modest. I was like an alcoholic, slowly killing my own career.
"You know, I really missed you." I said, trying to stay away from sounding too corny.
"Well I missed you too. Go ahead and ask Blake, he'll tell you all too well."
I said as I laughed a bit. I could just tell that the storm was finally over and we were heading into sunny days from now on. Granted things were still a bit tense between us, I knew things were back on the right track as they should be.
"As it pertains to breakfast whatever you want is fine. I wouldn't mind eating outside by the pool though. It's so beautiful out this morning. One more thing though Freddie...I think we need to talk about what happened during your um...breakdown."
I could hardly get the words out but somehow I managed. I had to know exactly what caused him to cheat on me, why he shoved me that day, and what was going through his mind during this whole ordeal. Until we fully talked things out I didn't think we could full heal and move on completely.
"Yes. I can't tell you how much I hate myself for that."
It had been nearly a month since the incident, but I could feel it all creeping back in to my mind. The images were so vibrant and real.
The scene played through my mind again, like a movie reel.
Dan...Chris, it's come down to these last couple of days. You're being given a dream shot, but order will be restored once we're done with you. The planets will realign, leaving you the shattered mess you always were, in the same low place you've always been in. I don't need to threaten you and say that I'm coming to kick your ass. I can simply promise you, that the CWF will head in to a more brighter time.
We've been chosen to rid the CWF of these scabs.
Yes...Boizs, that's all you are. You're just an irritant in the C-Dubya-F. You're not supposed to be in the rarified air of champions like us. You're only here because Ataxia wants to punish us...take what we rightfully earned. But since he can't be bothered to do it himself and his best soldiers couldn't get the job done either, he sends you two. Now we have to dispose of you like the garbage you are. It's not how I chose it to be. Your fearless leader chose this for you.
It needs to be done.
I've heard you both brag about your accomplishments...how amazing you were in CWF. Personally, I don't see anything in you that stands out. You don't intimidate me, nor do you frighten me. You need to realize this game's changed. You were left behind long ago. Now that you're back, I personally don't see what all the hype is about. But all will be right soon.
You two will lose.
Then you will leave. Just like how it should've have been. I wish we had beaten you last pay-per-view instead of that fat fuck and his friend, that way there wouldn't be any sort of confusion. You're a mere placeholder for us. Put in our way because the burlap baby can't stand that the Aces are the gold standard of the company that he's supposed to be running. The tag division hasn't been hotter since Duce and I took the helm. We've led it to heights not seen in decades.
You two would lead this division into the gutter.
Don't you understand this time and age? You've managed to survive this long, I figured you to be semi intelligent. There are three men leading this company, men who have brought dignity and respect back to the CWF. Myself, Duce and Jarvis. I expected you to know that already.
We're giving you a chance at survival.
The Aces are not going to make this anywhere near easy for you...Boizs. I know this will be the toughest match of your life, and it brings great joy to me to know that we're going to defeat another "great" hall of fame team in this company. We've done things no one else could. That's why we're the leaders. But I fully understand my responsibilities now, both as the Impact champion, and as a tag champion. I'm going to do what I do best. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
We WILL win. We WILL embarass you.
Because it's what I was put here to do. Stick to your games after Hellbound, because when we're done...your careers will be finished.
Venni. Vetti. Vecci.
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."