[The scene is a television studio, but very unprofessional and low budget.]
Easy EB: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Easy Ed Buch, Easy EB, editor in chief and host of the EFED Underground Webcast. Today, for the first of what I hope are several exclusive interviews with the newly reborn Avenging Angel, Azrael.
Azrael: Thank you for having me. If you do not mind, the Avenging Angel is not here with you, it is the Angel of Death. They are two distinct personalities who have two different responsibilities. One is here to help. To show compassion and empathy. The other, to extract vengeance as is God’s will.
Easy EB: Thank you for clearing that up. How will we know which Azrael is sitting before us?
Azrael: That is almost as easy as you. Are you fearful right now? Do I scare and intimidate you, more than your average superstar that you get to interview?
Easy EB: I guess not. I don’t get to do many, but I don’t think I am.
Azrael: That is how you will know. The Avenging Angel strikes fear into everything. That is why he is sent in God’s place to protect the weak from the truly evil. Evil wants to see God, to know his weakness, to take advantage. He has no weakness, and there is nothing to be gained by beating him. Pray that you never have to meet him in person. Your mere mortal heart could not handle the fear he brings with him.
Easy EB: Why is that? How did he become so fearful and such a threat to evil?
Azrael: My my, getting right to the heart of the matter. No, I think it would be better if we start at the beginning of time. All stories are best told from the beginning.
Easy EB: Well, then let's start there. You sure are one helluva an easy interview.
Azrael: Actually, There are a few things that need to be discussed in present. Like this upcoming match.
Easy EB: Good, let's hold off on the story, so we can stretch it out. More shows I can fill the better. This is going to help take this webshow and website from the fringe to mainstream.
Azrael: Looking at the participants in this match, you might think that I don’t belong. Duce Jones, and Jimmy Allen, both have issues with members of the Forsaken, in which Ataxia is apart of. That is one way to add some fuel to fire in those fueds to keep them burning while keeping them fresh.
Easy EB: That is true, so how do you fit in?
Azrael: God’s will. Apparently someone in that match can use some support. There is a hurting heart that needs my services. Needs whatever it is that I will bring during that match.
Easy EB: You do not know who?
Azrael: You would like to know that wouldn’t you. But at this time, I am not aware of the individual. I will need to sit and pray on it. I will need to see, what is required from me. There is a good chance that I will never know, but that I will be and fill the role that individual or individuals need the most.
Easy EB: Well, give me a guess as to who it is.
Azrael: I can’t. I don’t know what is in their hearts or the purpose that God has for them. If you look at Ataxia, the fact that his Mia is missing, without a word has got to be weighing heavy on his heart. The loss he must feel, but doesn’t want to accept yet. Duce Jones personality has changed quickly and drastically. Usually that is indicative of a trauma. Whether that trauma is a loss or something else, I don’t know. I don’t even want to speculate, as the human mind is such an amazing and fragile item. Jimmy Allen, too, has changed. He has turned his back on a former friend and respected colleague. He might be suffering with the lost of that relationship, even if it was at his hands. Notice how I didn’t say his choice. It may not have been a choice for him, he may not have, or at least he doesn’t think he did. Humans place a lot of power in reasons. Reasons don’t matter. What is in one’s heart is all that matters to God.
Easy EB: I guess you are right, they all have reason to need some support and empathy. We will have to wait and see how things shake out.
Azrael: That is all we can do. Live life in the here and now. Let God take your worries, as they do nothing but ruin our present.
Easy EB: Now why everyone has tuned in. Why the suicide and the rebirth? Isn’t suicide a sin, condemning one’s soul to hell?
Azrael: When it comes to religion, there are no hard and fast rules as to paths to either option of the afterlife. It is all a matter of what you believe. I will let you in on a little secret. The religion you choose makes no matter in the end. They are all just different paths to the same ultimate goal. If you look, they all share a lot of basic tenants. Compassion to everything, honesty, love, faithfulness. Tenants that make what everyone considers a good person. Most of the things that people can and can’t do, are not God’s words, but man’s interpretations of his words. Man’s ideas and interpretations are subject to change and may come from a place of misguidance. God’s are not subject to those.
Easy EB: I guess I’ve never thought of it that way. It makes sense as most religions do have a lot of similarities. So, why did you take the attempted suicide route?
Azrael: Again, let us go back to the beginning. This story, my story starts before time exist, before man existed. I guess the best place to start is at the Great War. The war that exiled the Angel Satan from God’s side. That split the Angels into three groups. Those that stayed loyal to God, those who swore allegiance to Satan, and those who chose not to fight. Several theologians have surmised that those who chose not to fight, were subject to the same wraith from God as those who aligned with Satan. That is not true. I was the only one who abstained from this fight. I knew my role was to an advocate for man, to be able to help everyone I could, regardless of their belief. As such, I did lose some benefits of those who remained loyal, but God knew why I couldn’t participate, and where my heart truly was.
Easy EB: You expect me and all of my listeners to actually believe that you are one of the original angels, a true Archangel. An angel with wings and gold crown and all of that?
Azrael: No, not all. I do not expect anything from man. Of all the angels, I know man the most. I am the only angel who has been flesh and blood. I have felt all of the emotions that man is capable of. I know how man is going to think. There will be some who do and some that don’t and some that will change their mind. It doesn’t matter to me whether they do or they don’t. I am here to help them, and that is all that important. And will you look at the time.
Easy EB: But we were just starting to get to the good stuff.
Azrael: You have some things to learn about business. Always leave them wanting more.
Easy EB: Good point. Join us next time as we get more information on this new side of the Archangel of Apathy, now the Archangel of Death.
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."