Title: Hodgey Podgey Pudding and Pie
Featuring: Loki Synn
Date: She'd eat you alive
Location: In your thoughts and dreams
Show: Evolution 30



Well this is rich. 

For whatever reason Ataxia and his merry crew of shadow-y puppets have done me so many favors since coming in. They think they’re punishing me?

Nah Hodge. They’re only rewarding a job well done. Are you scared of madness? Are you scared of insanity Harley? Am I… Am I allowed to call such a hallowed name such as you by your first name or should I worship the linguistic grounds you walk on and call you by the preferred “Accelerator” moniker that you seem to prefer to go by?

We also suppose that this is where we should tell you that regardless of what you say, do, or think, it matters little in the grand scheme of things. Do you know how long I’ve waited to get my hands on you Harley? Sure, I’ve made my intent pretty damn clear in terms of wanting to wipe The Forsaken off of the proverbial map. However, things are going to get personal and you’ve only been back for a couple weeks.

And already trod on the wrong toes…

At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter who you once were, what you once did, or who you think you currently are. It doesn’t change the fact that you are nothing short of an old dog that has learned its last new trick and needs to be put down.

Now, given that you are a stereotypical veteran coming back after quote, unquote retirement, I will give you the advantage of letting you know what you’re up against. At the end, you MIGHT even get a chance to walk from this unscathed. I have proof that in all reality Hodge… I’m the victim and you are guilty of robbing me of something important.

My smile…
=================================================================
Wrestlefest:

James Milenko quietly hangs up his cell phone and checks around him in what was supposed to be a deserted hallway during what is supposed to be THE busiest night in the entirety of the blasted CWF. Yet for some reason, James can’t help but feel that he’s being watched. He glances behind him quickly and decides that maybe this time, it’s just the wind. Maybe…

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if anyone had heard him give update on Loki’s success in such a short time. CWF would fall to the Hostile injection that Milenko had given it. The plague had started and everyone was too blind to see it all before them. It wasn’t James’ responsibility to hold their hands and make sure they got out of the blast radius was it?

Negatory sirs and ma’ams. It was NOT James Milenko’s responsibility to hold people’s hands who were too blind to see the writing on the wall. Even IF someone stumbled onto his plan right now, even IF he had been careless, then what? What was REALLY going to happen? 

Nothing that Loki wouldn’t be able to handle and when she puts Milenko on top of the CWF food chain as head honcho? Well, James had survived Ozric Mortimer’s reign of terror and look who was still around. Loki didn’t pose a threat once upon a time when the persona had overtaken a former roster member of little importance to James. The persona left, the dude got eaten by the system, and they all lived happily ever after.

Or the guy overdosed on a bleach smoothie and never woke up from the resulting joy induced coma. James always got the two endings mixed up. Now the persona occupied the battered brain of Mia Rayne and while James is only mildly curious as to what Mia must be going through, trapped in her own head; it wasn’t really of any long term concern to James. As long as he gets what he wants at the end of the day, no one else matters. Did it concern James that Mia was a prisoner in her own head? Maybe a little bit. But then he remembers that he is on the way to reclaiming all the wealth and fortune that was robbed from him by the Rishel’s and the CWF and it made the pain a little bit better.

Least Mia can do is take one for the team and roll over.

James shrugs again and stows his phone away before tossing his hood over his noticeably red hair. It wasn’t going to matter soon but all good things come to those that wait. People would know that he’s making his comeback, that one day in the very near future, everyone will remember the name of James Milenko!
======================================================================
OOoooooooOOOoooooooOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOoooooo….

Are you confused yet Hodge? We’ll be the first to admit that we have made NO inclination of wanting anything to do with you and your “one more time” un-retirement plan. Yet here we are, forced to go one on one in whatever the hell a Jester’s Ball match is. I know what you’re thinking, I’M the “jester” and I MUST have something to do with the stipulation since that’s MY modus operandi.

Sorry, but no. We award you NO points and may whatever deity that you fall to your knees and worship have mercy on whatever is left of your soul after what’s this we hear? YOU CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD?!

At WrestleFest, not sure if you missed it or not, but I took on three different brands of psychopaths, one believing that the latest in Sharpie fashions on his face would make him super intimidating… Spoiler alert, it didn’t and WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO HODGE?!

What was it exactly? 

Did you hit that proverbial “glass ceiling” with that sickening THUNK and go crashing down to the mat… Hard? Oh but wait Loki! Hodge the Podge actually WON that match technically!

That’s the thing about history books. They report that Hodge won his championship match that night, but who walked out of that ring? Who is STILL your champion of paramounts? NOT Hodge.

See? I can be logical too ya’ know and that’s not even scratching the surface. In my eyes Hodge you DESERVE the very real, VERY VICIOUS, and VERY PERSONAL beating I am going to deliver unto you come Evolution. You’ve had it coming since your debut.

I bet you didn’t know that I’m still pissed about that did you? I bet you didn’t know that jesters held grudges.

Well guess what? We do. And Mr. Hodge you have committed a heinous act against yours truly that must be addressed! You outstaged me.

The same night that Loki Synn was to be the name on everyone’s lips. The same very evening that I played The Forsaken for fools, not even an hour after I revealed that I am the SOLE PERSON AROUND THAT KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO MIA RAYNE, you come out and steal the stage light. 

OoooooOOOOOooooOOOOOO…

That’s not a very good first impression Hodge and I was going to let you pass. However, you walk in with arrogance that makes us sick. You come in with a sense of entitlement so thick, you can’t see the world around you. You waltzed back in and was handed a championship opportunity on the biggest stage of them all and you failed.

Go ahead and tell us you won. Oh shit you’re right! 

Yet I think I know a certain King that is still the champion and the only thing you have is a very noticeable limp.

But what about Loki? OoooooOooooOOooooo… Hodge….

If you only knew…
============================================================

Inky blackness is what I see for anyone wondering. Not sure if this will reach anyone in particular. Not even sure what’s going on, everything is black. I remember calling out some masked people and then some loud bangs…

Pain…

Then the blackness crept in followed by laughter that isn’t my own. I hope someone sees these words, feels these words. Not really sure how or have any answers but at least I’m getting time to my….

Loki twitches herself awake and rubs her eyes. Since leaving the hospital she’s been living off the meager paychecks from CWF. Enough for a hotel room to get through until she could hop the bus to the next stop and do everything all over again. It’s how she preferred things. Easier to know the hiding places that way, the routes to lead to safer things. Or to more dangerous, who knew? Still, the digs weren’t always the most glamorous but what they lacked in a soft mattress, they made up for being able to keep out of sight. She wasn’t quite sure why and this fact annoys Loki to no end. Something told her to keep out of sight though, especially during the hours that a mask wasn’t conducive to being out in public. So better to avoid it entirely.

Inviting delivery boys over and growling at them from through the door to leave the food on the floor and to take the money shoved under the door was beginning to become a favorite hobby though. Maybe the hotel and life on the road motif wasn’t all that bad. No relationships to have to worry about maintaining. No belongings to get distracted by and just the freedom and ability to call a new place “home” every night. Sure, it got boring after a while, but the anonymous life could be so very much worse.

She could have to deal with having to share. Or talk to people. Perish the thought. Alone time meant that she could develop her craft of making life more difficult for The Forsaken. Milenko seems to think that if they’re out of the picture, CWF is easy pickings. Loki couldn’t agree more, though she can’t help but not trust the man with the bright red hair. He was about as far into Loki’s life as she was comfortable with; and even that was pushing it.

It might be time to reevaluate a circle that only ever included the man with bright red hair…
===================================================================
VROOM VROOM!

I get it! Your first name is “Harley” and you came in on a motorcycle! You are SO…

FECKING…

No… Just, stop.

I’m not buying your shit. Take it back. It smells and I hate it.

This isn’t about you Hodge. You came back and you tried to wave your hands in the air to get someone’s attention, a desperate plea for someone to realize that you still exist…

For some odd reason.

You come out dressed like Danny from Grease, riding a motorcycle, after letting people believe you were dead for how long? That’s a bit fucked, even for me.

And that’s saying something Hodgson. We kind of like it, you’re Hodgson now. Congrats Hodson.

Hodgson.

Hodg…

You suck. 

So we have looked at your track record since coming back and trying to take away my limelight. You haven’t really done anything that has made anyone go, “HOLY SHIT THAT WAS HARLEY FUCKIN’ HODGSON!” Seriously, outside of a hard fought match that you got the win in name only, you haven’t done anything. Me on the other hand?

I came in and on my first night dropped a bombshell that left one of the most powerful stables in the CWF REELING. I also dismantled their de facto leader with a chair. Still have it for sentimental porpoises. 

I then was left to bide my time, having made Ataxia angry so I didn’t get any big match at WrestleFest. It’s cool, I am perfectly fine biding my time. But then…

We found out how Ataxia views dummies. How he treats his inferiors. So Loki pushed a couple well placed buttons and Ataxia “forced” Loki to be in the opening match for the number one contendership for the world belt. 

Wasn’t part of my plan but the best plans often have weird twists. It was mandated I participate, and participate I did.

To the point that I let the moment take me and I won the match. 

So I played mind games with the commish and to teach me a lesson he put me in a number one contender match that I end up winning. Then he threatens me, I return the favor, and he puts me in this match.

Against the man who tried to upstage me; the jester.

Like… Whose side is Ataxia really on at this point? 

“Have an instant number one contenders match!”

“You DARE threaten the great and all powerful Ataxia?! You’re going to be put in a match where virtually EVERYTHING is legal against someone you… Haha, ‘low key’ hate for trying to steal spotlight that was rightfully your to begin with.”

See what we mean? It’s Madness we tell you! Why not reap the rewards of everyone’s mass confusion? 

Vroom vroom Harley. It’s time to, hehehe… Accelerate into your demise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The camera opens to a massive throne room, done up in the style of old medieval times. Times where kings and knights were the cool kids on the block and wizards were the nerds that everyone wanted to know. “Lavish” would be an understatement as everything is covered in the plushest of purple velvet, accented with bronze. The throne itself is lavish and based in the same color scheme, rich purple and dark bronze. And one Loki Synn, newest number one contender to the CWF Championship in only her second week with the company.

She is decked out in her usual ring gear, legs tossed up over the side of the throne and lounging comfortably minding her own business. That is until the wind knocks over what is obviously a pre-recorded glass falling and breaking on the ground. Loki wouldn’t know anything about things being pre-recorded. Never! 

The Jester of CWF jumps at the sound and whips her head toward the camera, the mask taking care of plastering a fake smile on for all to see. Her eyes the only thing “natural” showing. 

Loki Synn: Ah! I wasn’t expecting visitors! Maybe we were, it isn’t for you lot to decide. WELCOME to MY domain!

She stands up and we can all realize now that she’s wearing a lavish purple robe framed with the most delicate of bronzy silk. It matches her attire perfectly which instead of purples is primarily a cool and icy blue, framed in dark black. Say what you will about Loki as a person, she knows how to coordinate her colors. She brandishes her robe, holding it around her and enjoying the warmth of the fabric’s embrace. Cocking her head at the camera she speaks softly while taking small and delicate steps toward the camera. For every two steps she takes toward the poor cameraman, he takes a baby step back. Hazard pay is a thing right?

Loki Synn: As a legitimate contender to a legitimate belt, I am dedicated to make weekly statements in lavish detail in terms of what I think about current events. We’re annoyed by this, however as my opponent this week happens to be a current source of news in name only, we suppose it’s cool to give some thoughts on the matter.

She pauses and cocks her head. The movement eerie and creepy. The robe flutters slightly but remains closed around her as she starts slowing down her steps. Each movement beginning to get more and more jerky. The cameraman wasn’t liking his chances of getting out of this without scarring on his psyche.

Loki Synn: We debuted in this company only two weeks ago. Only two weeks. In that time we have flustered one of the most powerful stables that this company has apparently ever seen. My first week out I got under the skin of one of the most unflappable men that has ever existed in the plain. 

She pauses and whips the rope open to reveal her glittery attire. Of course at the mention of “flapping” she flaps her arms like a bird. Why wouldn’t she? She’s wearing a robe that allows the extravagance of flapping to be seen! She laughs hysterically while mimicking a bird and then once again closes the robe over her before continuing. The cameraman is once again wondering if psychological terror is covered in hazard pay.

Loki Synn: My second week brought about WrestleFest and going in we will be the first in line to admit! That WE… Had absoLUTELY nothing planned. At all. Zero. Zilch. Nada. And none. So what did we do? 

We did something that the CWF has yet to see apparently. We went and poked at the bear. Poke poke bear! We called out our… AHEM… FRANDS with things that in all honesty, we KNEW… KNEW KNEW… KNEW KNEW KNEW KNEW!!!!

With every passing mention of the word, “knew” Loki jumps around in place while spinning in a circle. You go ahead and tell her she looks silly doing that. No? Moving on. She stops hopping and corrects her stance so she is once again facing the camera.

Loki Synn: Hehe, sorry. We get carried away sometimes. But how EASY was it for me to get their attention? How EASY was it for me to get haphazardly tossed into a number one contendership match for a World FECKING Title? We’re still floored that we weren’t just given a pink slip. We was given a golden opportunity that we capitalized on. 

We also made a threat to that entire group. A challenge. They haven’t responded yet and now I have to wonder if they even care. Hashtag sad face. No worries. I poked the bear hard enough to get tossed a PPV match, on the biggest show of the year, in a high stakes match, that we ended up winning another opportunity to take the company’s BIGGEST title off their smallest, in stature only, competitor. This is only my second week in the company people! Which brings us to… THIS… Week.

She pauses and cocks her head once again as if contemplating the camera lens. The effect of the creepy and smiley face staring back into your eyes through the camera is enough to give the bravest of souls pause. Loki Synn has the very aura of a serial psycho killer come back from the dead for multiple sequels. The cameraman says a quick prayer and is grateful that he and his wife already discussed his last will and testament.

Loki Synn: This week I’ve been informed that I am against one Harley Hodgson in a “Jester’s Ball” match. Rest assured, I’m just as baffled by this as everyone else as no one notified me that they were going to try and steal my thang then stick me in a bastardized version of my name. This has Ataxia written all over it and unfortunately for him, he put me in a match that I didn’t even know how badly I wanted until I saw it on the card. 

Harley, man named after motorcycle that is almost as old as you. Almost. You came back from what we heard was supposed to be “dead.” Yet you felt it apt to resurrect yourself the same week that I made my grand debut. We were expecting Loki’s name to be plastered everywhere, the name on everyone’s tongue. Is that what we heard? No. NO IT WASN’T!

hArLeY HoDGe…

The tone of Loki’s voice turns to one of icy and venomous malice, filled with scorn and loathing. The cameraman shivers and his stomach churns. So this is what true fear is. Awesome. Noted in the things to never experience again.

Loki Synn: We flapped the unflappable Harley. In two weeks time we rattled The Forsaken, a group that has made its MARK on this federation and is now going to face a very REAL AND PRESENT danger when it faces US! WE became number one contender for the most prestigious title this company has to offer…

Yet the name on everyone’s lips continues to be Harley Hodge and do you know what? WE are NOT ok… With this. Everyone continues to talk about how you came back from the dead and faced off in this epic contest with Jarvis King, in name only. Your name continues to leak out of everyone’s lips as you went into Wrestlefest as Jarvis King’s number one contender for the Paramount Championship. You went into Wrestlefest, promising all that you would win the title and bring it HOME for all of your fans! Yay fanfare and fireworks! Glitz and glamour! Harley Hodge was BACK in CWF and here to save us all!

But what happened at the biggest event of the year Harley? What happened at your big come home pay-per-view? Your RETURN to the spotlight! You were beaten. Battered, bruised… Bloodied? I don’t honestly remember because truth be told, I see you for the has been that you truly are. Official records indicate that you won your match but did you really and truly WIN anything that match Harley? Did you win anything at your big return? Any moral victories you’d like to share with the class? 

At the end of the day Jarvis walked away from that match and STILL YOUR Paramount Champion! You? Were you stretchered away? Were you taken out on a gurney? Did you need assistance to the back? Yay! You “technically” won your match! Usually I’m pretty good at picking out even the slimmest of moral victories but this right here Harl? This is tough even for me to figure out. Must be rough, coming back to CWF thinking you’re going to be as triumphant as you were when you were unceremoniously discarded like yesterday’s garbage; only to fall short on the grandest spectacle that you could possibly have throughout the year.

We almost feel sorry for you. Look at the track record of your opponent. Debuted at the same time as you did, made a bigger impact, forced her way into a “punishment” that turned into a golden ticket, and let us not forget rattling one of the cornerstone’s of the CWF, The Forsaken, to its very CORE. 

Silas asked who we were, questioned our tricks. He implied that at the end of the day, it wouldn’t matter because he would best us regardless of what we bring to the table. We only brought a fraction of what our potential is Harley. Look at where we are in comparison.

Me skyrocketing to the very top of the CWF elite in as little as three weeks time.

You?

Yesterday’s trash that somehow resurfaced on our front lawn. Why do you think that you’re still all that and a bag of chips? Why do you believe that you’re still relevant when you are nothing more than an… Ant.

She giggles as if she says something funny and looks intently at beyond the camera at the cameraman operating it. It’s almost as if she is directing her laughter at him. He laughs nervously because that’s what he feels is the right thing to do in this situation. It appears to be as Loki straightens up and once again addresses the camera.

Loki Synn: You’re a joke to me Harley. At the end of the day you could beat me to within an inch of my life, force me to tap out and have your way with me you dirty, DIRTY boy, you! The last laugh will always be mine though. What do you gain if you beat me here this week? I’ll still be number one contender and you? You’ll still be just another walking, outdated punchline and botched return.

Don’t make us laugh. 

With the last word she breaks into hysterics once again, flingling the robe off of her and brandishing a razor sharp dagger in her hand! She dances and leaps, twirls and bounds with it reflecting in the light of the room that they are in until she reaches her throne once again. She hops down and shoves her ample behind up in the air and all that the cameraman can hear as he moves closer to the action, is the tearing of fabric. With surprising dexterity and agility, Loki leaps up and flips over the chair, maybe with the help of a hidden harness, but don’t tell her that; disappearing behind the throne. The cameraman rushes forward and focuses on the fabric that Loki left torn. 

; )

The shredded pieces of fabric sway gently in a breeze from wherever as the camera focuses in on the site. Suddenly, and much to the cameraman’s disdain, Loki springs back up, her face suddenly in the camera lense as she whispers…

Loki Synn: Semi colon… Right parenthesis.

Her laughter cuts through the image of her mask staring into the camera lens and laughing at all who dare oppose her.
 



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