Tabby Ubetcha opens the door to her studio apartment. She looks disheveled and distraught, the banging and ravenous screams startling her out of her skin. Whatever this is, she is not prepared. She is not ready for it.
It's Jace Valentine. He's got that smile. He's got that smirk. He's got that wink.
"What are you doing, lady? Come on, I told you we were going to Disney World!"
Tabby Ubetcha goes white with shock. Standing there with unkempt hair and wearing her favorite plaid pajamas...she never expected Jace to come back.
"What are you talking about, Jace? You used me. You took advantage of me!"
"I did? I thought we had something here. I thought we were building a relationship, honey!" Jace proclaims.
Tabby's expression goes from shock to further disbelief.
"You decided your match was more important."
"I didn't mean it like that, my matches are always fucking important. I needed to focus, but you know what happened..."
Jace gets animated.
"Fucking excuse me?"
"You couldn't get it done in there...I assumed there would be no Disney World victory parade."
"Stop right there, sweetheart. Did you hit your head? The match never happened. The fans got bamboozled, baited and switched. The fans got the Sole Survivor experience, the finish to that match will forever be an unexplainable mystery in space and time. It's bizarre, I know. This is the second match in my career where this happened..."
Tabby just looks at Jace cross ways, maybe a little agitated.
"Are you serious? I watched the match myself."
"You're wearing pajamas, for Christ's sake! You must have watched that match in your fantasy land dream world! Never happened! Fake news! Welcome back to reality, Tabby Ubetcha!"
Tabby just shakes her head.
"Tell me this, Tab. In this hypothetical End Games match of yours, was Ataxia there?"
A look of confusion goes over Tabby.
"Yeah, he was. At least three Ataxia's actually..."
"See, then you must have been fucking dreaming! There's only one Ataxia, thank the Lord above..."
"I guess you're right. I did find that more than a little odd."
"Did you at least prepare for the trip?" Jace asks, eager to change the subject.
"I never once thought you were being serious about that."
"As serious as a heart attack. My dad died from one you know. My mother tried to blame it on me, the nerve of that serpent woman..."
"So let me get this straight. You, Jace Valentine want to take me, Tabby, on a resort getaway? I wasn't just some one night stand, an old hump and dump that you leave stranded without a second thought? You genuinely care about me?"
"Of course I do." Jace professes. "Now don't start getting all sentimental and shit. If you would check your damn messages than you would have known I was coming."
Tabby cannot check her messages. Her phone was shut off from overdue payment five days ago. Life has been rough. A terrible period of angst, anger and depression has fallen upon our friend Tabby. This may just be a ray of sunshine. Jace isn't a bad guy. He's just a sarcastic prick that speaks his mind and sometimes the point gets lost in the bravado.
You can't fault a man for that. He's genuine, but perhaps a bit unfiltered. Just like the next guy.
"I've... been busy." Tabby says, her voice trailing off.
"Well, whatever you're doing right now...fuckin' drop it. Pack your shit, Tabby Ubetcha. We're going to Disney World."
And with that, Jace Valentine and Tabby Ubetcha go to the fantasy land dream world of all fantasy land dream worlds.
See ya in Disney, bitches.
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."