Title: [CD] It Takes One to Know One
Featuring: Eclipse
Date: Final Eclipse Piece
Location: Undisclosed



Eclipse is shown, his massive hands clenching the Paramount title that belongs to Jarvis King. He is in his Dark Place...or whatever the old, tired cliche is.

 

"The children are just porcelain dolls. Beware the tall grass. I am Eclipse, I am the Darkness. The Tormented Soul. The Maker of Creation. Something something, Amorality. Something something the chaos. Catchprase. Unworthy."

 

All of a sudden, the lights come on.

 

"Ryan Sunset, what the fuck are you doing?"

 

Eclipse looks shocked as he turns around to see Jace Valentine walk into the room. Jace Valentine is walking...

 

Jace Valentine is standing...right in front of him.

 

"Jace?!?!? What are YOU doing?" Eclipse says with le gasp.

 

Eclipse is flabbergasted. Valentine reaches out, and proceeds to snatch the Paramount title from his outstretched arms. Eclipse's jaw just about hits the floor in amazement. Jace Valentine? He's back? So dreamy. So...glorious.

 

With a wink and a nod, Jace swings that gold strap hard into the side of Eclipse's face and that jaw ends up hitting the pavement after all.

 

Jace slams the belt into Ryan's forehead repeatedly, busting him open. The man known as Eclipse convulses from the pain, letting out shrieks only comparable to a blonde schoolgirl butt fucked by a black stallion.

 

"I thought you were crippled, Jace? I LIED!!!"

 

"I thought you were done, Jace? I LIED!!!"

 

"I thought you were going to give someone else the spotlight for a little while, Jace? I LIED!!!"

 

"Yeah, it turns out that Jace Valentine is a fucking liar. You know the thing about liars though? It takes one to fucking know one, bitches!"

 

"I thought I did the right thing. I set Caledonia up with the layup and let her call her shot, and she ended up as champion. I was a good little boy and I decided to share the spotlight with a dear friend, just to show I cared. Now I hear that she's walked away from the company."

 

"Now I hear that Sunny boy here is trying to pass himself off as some Ultimate Warrior alt-90's knockoff and I'm sitting at home watching this shit like really? Really, no ones paying attention to the bleach blonde ball of steroids and saying yeah that's the same dumb ass little prick cult leader that clowned his way around here before?"

 

"Well, like they say... If you want something done right you gotta do it yourself. I was content taking a step back. I was content taking a moment to reflect. Why did I ride around in a wheel chair for nearly three months? Honestly, I needed a fucking vacation. I needed a fucking break and you blood sucking leeches just don't get the hint."

 

"Then recently, a foxy little redhead got my attention. She reminded me that CWF still existed. I heard her asking questions about Ryan, and yeah, I tuned back in. God, what I saw...it just sucks. It's a far cry from what it used to be, it really is. But that foxy little redhead taught me a hard lesson too... It's tough to get chicks when your the dude in the wheelchair. So let's ditch that shit and get back in the game, eh?"

 

"I hear Summer Games is coming up. The structure of all structures. Jace is hurt? Nah, Jace is primed and ready to fucking go. You really think this bloody stump in front of us could hurt ME? There's a championship without a champion... And then you have Jace Valentine, the champion that never truly lost his belt. Sounds like a match made in heaven doesn't it?"

 

"Shit sure has changed in recent years. I opted out of Golden Intentions last year. I walked in, kicked Sahn in the nuts, and I walked out. Danny B won it all. The fucking Ripper, what a charade. This year, I'm sitting at home and who outlasted them all? Andy Murray. Excuse me, but who the hell is Andy Murray? That fucking kid from Toy Story finally grew up and wants to try his hand in the squared circle?"

 

Jace smiles.

 

"They just don't make 'em like they used to, man. Everyone just walks in the door like they're King Shit and they should be bazooka'ed right to the top. Well, hi, I'm Jace. You can call me the glass ceiling. You can call me the World's Greatest Advice. You can call me the King of Canadian Controversy. You can call me... a liar."

 

Jace winks.

 

"But so are all of you. There's only one difference. While I'm lying through my teeth, you'll be lying in a pool of your own blood."

 

Jace is back, bitches. Hide all the women and the children and the golden shiny title belts!

 

[OOC Note: I chose to take a very lighthearted approach to this "role play" in response to recent events. This is just fun. Let's not take it so seriously. Lighten up, play the game, and don't be a Jacehole.]



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