Midnight.... picked up the phone, expecting a call from Aurora after she stromed out. But I only heard a dial tone. I found it weird; I could've sworn I heard the phone ring. The concussion was really getting to me. I couldn't take it anymore. When the time was right, I'd have to go to Blake's and try to clear this situation up.
I had been at Blake's for two weeks and he knew of my pregnancy. He was so wonderful and protective; he did whatever he could for me. I barely spoke about Freddie because it hurt just so much. I was trying to keep my thoughts preoccupied with the baby, trying to find a job, and just wanting to get on with my own life, that I tried not to think about Freddie all that much, though late at night when I was lying in bed alone I felt horrible.
On this date though I was at the house by myself. I was feeling nauseous and Blake was at the gym working out. I didn't want to get out of bed but I knew that I needed some nourishment. I made my way down to the kitchen wearing a pair of fleece pajama pants and a white Baby T-shirt. I wasn't showing yet but I knew within weeks that I would.
I ran a hand through my hair as I came to the kitchen. I got into the fridge and pulled myself out a carton of milk and a red apple. I poured some milk into a glass and then put the carton back. I took a bite from my apple and then a sip of my milk. My stomach started to settle but I knew that would be short lived. So far this pregnancy was very hard on me, I was sick constantly, I only shared this with my doctor who assured me that some first pregnancies are very hard on the expectant mother…
I wasn't going to let Freddie know though, he wasn't the same man I fell in love with and I wasn't going to put myself through that. If he wanted to be with me he would've contacted me, but he hadn't, so I took this as a sign we were through. As I was eating my apple and planning going back upstairs to lay down the doorbell rang. Raising an eyebrow, I walked to the door. I opened it up and standing before me was Freddie. I just about dropped the glass of milk onto the floor but I kept my composure calm and cool.
"Hello Freddie… Blake's not here right now but I'll tell him you stopped by."
I figured I'd get some sort of attitude from Aurora when I walked in. I figured I'd tell her what had been going on inb my head the last few days. I probably looked like hell. I hadn't slept in days, and I could feel it wearing on me.
"I expected some sort of resentment when I walked in. You remember when I told you there was a time and a place to discuss what was going on with me? Well I figured this was as good a time and place."
I looked at him and couldn't help but want to reach out and hug him, I held back as best as I could. He looked so worn and I knew he wasn't taking care of himself as well as he should have. I only nodded and stepped aside so he could walk in. I led him into the kitchen and put my glass in the sink. I then turned and looked at him, folding my arms across my chest.
"Okay…You can tell me what's going on, I'm all ears."
I said this to him as I sighed and gently brought my hand down and rubbed my stomach which was queasy.
I had never known fear. I had never felt it like I did now. The feeling in my stomach made me sick. I wasn't used to havign this guilt built up inside of me. But I had to tell Aurora what was truly going on. I looked her in the eyes, and paused. I didn't know fi I could say this, but I was going to try my best.
"I'm real messed up in the head of late Aurora. I truly do love you, but some of the things I do, they aren't my choice. I know this sounds like bullshit, but I swear. I'm schizophrenic. I hear a voice in my head that comes and go's. It seems whenever something good happens, or if my life is going well, it decides to come back and fuck everything up. I never wanted to tell you. I am ashamed of it, but it's who I am."
I wasn't angry at him anymore, the second he told me what was going on, all I could do was walk over to him, put my arms around my neck and hug him tightly. I released a sigh and rested my head on his shoulder.
"I wish you would have told me this before so I could have helped you in some way. Freddie you have nothing to be ashamed about, you can't help this. Freddie I love you and I would have done anything in the world to help you.
I raised up my head and looked at him. I didn't know if I would be going back to him on this date or if we were going to end things. Whatever he needed to do I would support.
I wasn't here to bring Aurora back to my home. I needed my space, and I figured she could use hers. The thought of a baby growing in her womb put a smile on my face. I had never thought I'd be bearing someone like me. Except I didn't want the child to be exactly like I was. I wanted it to have Aurora's traits. I wanted my kid to be down to earth, understanding, and most of all, loving. But I wanted to pass on my drive and determination. I would be proud however that child turned out. I would love it unconditionally. But that was a story for another time.
"Listen, I think we still need our time apart. I'm sure Blake is treating you very well. Just take some time here, and let me clear my head."
Blake was treating me great, he catered to my every need but I still wanted to be back with Freddie in his home. I worried that while he was at the house alone Salem would be making constant visits to the house. I took my hands from my stomach and folded my arms across my chest. There was nothing I could say that would try to convince him to let me come back so I only nodded sadly, quick to put an unconvincing smile on my face.
"Sure…I understand so whatever you need is fine Freddie. However long you need is fine. I'll be here when and if you decide you want me to come back."
I then turned my back to him so I was facing the sink. I filled the sink with water and soapy bubbles in order to hand wash some dishes. I didn't want him to see the pain I was feeling at this point in time.
"Just be careful okay and take care of yourself."
"I will, thank you."
I leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. I pulled away and looked her in the eyes as I stroked her left cheek with my thumb.
"I'm gonna go now. I love you, and I'll call you later. Bye hun.", I kissed her again as I began to walk out the door.
I had tons of worries now. But I still had Andy Murray. I was more than willing to express my disregard towards him.
I have a few questions for you, Andy. Feel free to answer them or to ignore them, but remember this; they are asked because you will be giving these things when you and I meet, like it or not. Are you willing to give your heart, mind, body and even your very soul to be victorious? Are you willing to be sent home in a box so that those who once knew you are able to weep over your shallow grave? Are you willing to have your career ended just for the chance to go for that gold? Are you willing to give it all and pay the price to be a champion at your age, wear and tear? I am, and I will if need be, because that is the type of man I am, and the type of man that the world isn't sure you can be. Your work in the rumble isn't the best showing that I could use to gauge what you will be in a one on one match, but it'll do for my purposes. There is a time in every man's life when he must confront his greatest fear, and that fear is being less than the best.....being below another man. When you and I meet, this will happen to you. You shall find your limits and the things you cannot do. You will find that I am unstoppable, and then, Andy, you will learn fear, because no matter what you do to me, I will get right back up and come for more! Bring your best to this match, that way after I have beaten you, every man and woman on the face of this planet will know that I, Freddie Styles, am everything I say I am.
A Future Legend.
Freddie gets up and goes over to the fridge, grabbing a couple of bottles of beer. He pops thecap off the first one, and takes a long sip. He sets the bottle down and begins to speak again.
Andy, you are walking into a no win situation, and blindly you will feel my fury. You may have thought you knew what you were getting into, but you honestly haven't got theslightest clue as to who I am and what I can and will do. They say that truth is the first casualty of war......I say that you are going to be the first casualty of the new era and there is not a damned thing you can do to stop it! Look into my eyes Andy....look into the eyes of a champion.....you know it as well as I do.......this isn't waht you wat. I don't fear you. Your reputation, your mystique, the stories that circulate about you, they mean nothing to me. When the bell rings, you will be dissected and broken down until there is nothing left but bits and pieces. Andy, I am going to do things to you in that ring that haven't been seen since the days of that Jarvis King - Chaolin Sahn feud. If you thought that the little promo tape that you got of me was the best that I'm capable of, then you are in for one hell of a shock, because that tape was only a little taste of things to come.
He has about finished this bottle of beer, as he had been drinking it bit by bit as he was talking. Freddie grabs the second bottle, pops the top, sipping the beer as he begins to speak again.
It doesn't matter to me how tall or big you are, Andy. It doesn't matter to me about where you come from or how tough you are, because honestly, I'm tougher, faster, stronger, more agile and honestly just that much better then you right now. Once I have finished you off, you will be left to ask yourself, "I got this title shot, but what is really left for me?" When you take this L, you will understand that you no longer have what it takes to be a champion, that you won a rumble where you only have to be lucky enough to make it to the end. I will show you what makes a true champion during the match Andy.....that much you can count on. You are stepping into the ring with a future legend, and when the match is done, you will see that the name is not just some fancy slogan or phrase that is meaningless. I will show you how and why I earned that name when you meet. I only hope that you are prepared for the war that you are going to be in with me. My destiny will take me through you and straight to my rightful place in the record books of the CWF. No one can change that. Destiny is a funny thing Andy. It will guide a man to his right path and then force him to walk that path, even if he at times strays away from it, he always comes back to it. My destiny is already clear to me Andy. And it will become clear to you as well my friend.
You used to be great. You had one more great night in the sun. You may have Caldonia or MJ for the belt, but you'll know that you won't be facing a champion...just a person with the big belt.
Freddie finishes off the bottle of beer after having one last sip. He takes the bottles into the kitchen, and tosses them onto the trash. He grabs his coat, slips it on, grabs his hat, puts it onhis head, and walks out the door for another run, watching the doors close as we fade to black.........fin'