A: Baby, are you alright?
F: Yeah. I’m ok. Just a dream
A: Another one? You’ve been having those bad dreams a lot lately.
F: Yeah...ever since…..Genesis. Shit hasn’t been right since them. I was so close babe….it was right there! It’s been over 2 years since I was the world champion of a company. It’s been a year since I had singles gold in CWF. It’s been too long...and it was right there..
A: Shhhh….don’t overthink it. You went out there and shut the ol dusty preacher up last week. He had to sic his lil bitch followers on you to even get close to winning, and even then, that didn’t work.
F: Doesn’t matter. Silas is feeling himself so much that he thinks he can take us both on. I’ll make him regret that. But I gotta get back on my own horse and get a win.
A: And you will. Doesn’t matter who’s across from you next week. YOu got this.
F: Thanks babydoll. You always make me feel better. Go back to sleep, I’ll go up front and calm down before I come back.
Freddie gives Aurora a kiss before he makes his way out of the bedroom. He walks to the kitchen, pours himself a glass of water, and slowly starts to drink it, thinking both back to the last Evo and to his upcoming opponent, PJ Blake….
Determination... the driving force that can push a man to do some of the most amazing things imaginable. Determination is what drove me forward and allowed me to run through the Alpha block to get to Genesis. Determination is what picked me up after I lost at Genesis, and led the way onward to fight again. Determination is such a powerful thing... and yet sometimes it's just not powerful enough. Determination won't always help you win that big match... hell, I know that just because I'm determined to make good on the title shot I just got last Evolution, doesn't necessarily mean I will. However, does that stop me from fighting? No.
What exactly is determination? It's not what causes you to win a match... it's what helps you. If you're not determined... chances are you won't go very far. You'll float about aimlessly in this business with nowhere to go, something that I never could find myself doing. I never stopped pushing forward, fighting the current pushing against me and never resting. In the end I knew it would be worth it and it was. I've now climbed the proverbial stairwell so high that I now sit right on the top steps, only arms reach away from standing on top of the whole thing.
To say I wasn't determined to go farther would be a lie, because while satisfied with everything I have done... I still yearn to accomplish the highest accolade in my dreams. There's so much left to fight for... and I'm willing to fight as hard and as long as I must in my attempts to reach my dreams. So far... determination has gotten me quite far. I didn't stop going when after all my efforts I still fell short at Genesis.. I didn't find myself being sucked into the proverbial undertow and pulled away from the one thing I so strongly pushed for.
For every stone placed in my path... I've kicked them all astray. For every stone kicked astray... yet another was laid before me. What will I do when I finally stand before you at Evo 75 PJ? Face to face with a woman who’s more than eager to use me as a springboard to her own greatness before the world.
PJ, I’ve seen you. You’re good. Not main event good, but you’ve got skill. Pairing with Autumn is good for you. She’s championship tested, and you can’t help but have some of her rub off on you as you grow here. The tag team titles are a nice goal for you to have...you and Autumn will never be the Smokin’ Aces…, but nobody can ever fill our tag boots. Shit, I’m supposed to be doing something other than singing your praises PJ, yet here I am doing so. It would seem I'm stuck between the proverbial rock and the hard place, wouldn't it?
Yet I can't just give up hope now... that wouldn't be right.
Everyone in their lifetime has had a hope or a dream, they've experienced a nightmare and felt the harshness of reality tear at their very skin. It's something that none of us can escape, it's always there... waiting to pounce on us. We can choose to strive for those hopes and dreams... or we can succumb to the nightmares and the painful reality that present themselves to us each day.
So we all should choose the better path, and make the best of it and attempt to keep the nightmares as inconsistent as possible. We'll never be able to ward off the darker parts of reality, for every time we wake up from our dreams we re-enter a world filled with good and evil. A world where the truth and a lie are easily mixed up and switched around, and an innocent man can be killed as the guilty stands tall, on top of his own world. What of the innocent man? He hopes that before he perishes, the guilty is found and he is set free.
Hope. It's the one thing that keeps some people going when everything they've had has been taken away from them. A blind man can hope that one day he'll be able to escort his daughter down the aisle, and watch in happiness as the little girl he raised for all those years finally marries the man of her dreams. And there he stands, able to see once again, his blindness no longer burdening him. And you know what? He has a right to hope for that, a right to dream.
I have a right to hope to win. I have a right to dream of overcoming all the obstacles standing in my way, and I know that I can do it.
Determination and hope should forever go hand in hand with each other, because if you lose determination, what good is there to hope? And without hope... where's the fuel to fire that determined glare in your eye?
You can always hope for something... but to earn it you must fight for it, and to win the good fight you have to be determined to.
Hope is the very definition of the small child standing side by side with the muscle-bound action hero, and both are aiming for the same goal and working together at earning it. Hope can be weak, hope can be strong, hope can be whatever you wish it to be. A child can hope to become president, and hey, maybe they will be. A man can hope to find a good girl that treats him right, and maybe he will in his own sense of the word.
I might not actually be able to topple Silas and make it to the top of the CWF. I might not ever save this company again or have my name known all across the wrestling world and, as much as I hate to admit it... I might not be a warrior able to overcome all odds stacked against him.
However... I can hope to be, and I can fight as hard as my body allows to make it there
What I'm trying to get at with all of this talk of hope and determination, PJ... is that I have both, and always have. When the Forsaken banded together to rid themselves of Duce and myself... I still had hope, I was still determined to fight on. You saw it when I was left bloodied, you saw it in my dream the last time you heard from me, you saw it when I stood, blood covering my face, and I know you've seen it all along... but never grasped the depth of it all.
You'll see soon enough, PJ, that no one gets fully inside of my head. That no one finds out every last little secret about me. Do you know everything I believe in, PJ? Do you know everything I stand for? Here's a few things for the troubled, empty mind. Here's something to think on, something that sets me apart from and yet makes me the same as so many others living their dreams and watching me live mine.
I believe in God. I believe in salvation. I believe that everyone has to be forgiven sometime. I believe that everyone has the potential to be someone in this world. I believe that even the smallest forces can overthrow an entire empire. I believe in myself. I believe in my Aurora. I believe that the one true sign that you're getting somewhere is pain itself. I believe that there are some things in life that are more than worth fighting for. I believe in living every day as if it were your last. I believe, PJ. I fucking believe.
But I don't believe in you, much less you beating me at Evolution.
I don't fucking believe in these nightmares I’ve been having, nor do I believe that you're some sort of a demon or devil coming to steal away my glory. I wouldn't call you my nemesis, but I would call you one of the greatest opponents that I have or ever will take on in the ring. I know you'll push me harder then anyone in the CWF has ever done lately... but I still don't believe in you.
And despite my disbelief... I still thank you. You've made me see the light, PJ. You've brought upon my revelation. Ultimately, you believe that you too shall bring upon my destruction. And yet ultimately... you will fail, PJ.
These are all nothing but mere words though... right? Nothing but sweet nothings in the grand scheme of things. Everything has an ending, PJ. Granted, as I've said many times before, all ends lead to a beginning.
You claim you will beat me, PJ, but what if you do? Then what? Will you move on from there to the next victim? Will you continue to rise... or will you fall back into the bottom of the pile, the heights you got to see by being in the ring with me being too much for you to handle? You know that I'll always come back... one way or another, you know I'm too proud to stay down and out.
Right now the ball is in your court, PJ. There's nothing I can do but brace for impact. All the odds... all of them are stacked against me. Never before have I ever been this big of an underdog. Not even Moonchild and his cult held this much power over me. The fans... they want me to win just like they did then, but now their hope is stronger. Their belief is one of the many things that will keep me going.
I wish the things that have happened hadn't happened, I wish that we would have an even court, but you've got the field PJ. You've been given a golden opportunity to beat me. The pieces are all falling into place for you, and you're slowly pushing me towards the edge. Everything is going just fine for you PJ, the lights are going dim... darkness is slowly consuming everything as that damnable black rain falls overhead. You're bringing me down to your level, to your domain... and if I make it there, there will be no hope left.
A single, solitary light shines out in the distance however... it calls to me, beckons me to reach for it. To fight for it. To believe in it.
I believe in freedom, too, PJ. And I’m gonna set you free with your face to my knee.
Never be a victory plan for you PJ, cause I’m heartless. Two words….BALLGAME!
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."