After a tumultous week, Church and State are back to restore order and give you all the information for Evolution 26!
Blake Church: Turmoils over turmoils, that has been what CWF has been going through in the last two weeks since Evolution 25, including pushing our whole schedule back by a week, which is unprecedented!
Charles State: Rish disappeared, Caledonia left in search of her long lost husband, Ouroboros gone, Rolash still here.
Blake Church: Drama all over the place, but we are here to guide you through everything that is happening now with Evolution 26, which is dominated by 8 qualifying matches for Summer Games.
Charles State: This is “Church vs. State”!
Blake Church: So - nine matches on the menu and there is one that is not part of the whole Summer Games brouhaha, with young Zach hopefully finally having managed to cast off the shackles of Ouroboros, but at the same time facing an increased pressure by Xander Haze and John Kreese, kicking things off against Mikey Unlikely in his CWF debut.
Charles State: Mikey Unlikely just entered CWF and already is one of the most flamboyant we have seen here in quite a while, but the question is, how does his wrestling skills measure up, especially against somebody as agile and motivated as Zach? But how much will all the media interest distract either of them?
Blake Church: And then there is our little qualifying tournament. Let’s give you a quick rundown as to the why and the how.
Charles State: First off why? Easy. We need a new World Heavyweight champion, since our last one abdicated and rightfully so is putting family first. As to how? Well, coincidentally we have Summer Games coming up and the original main event just completely fell apart with all the happenings in Makhnovia, so Commissioner Ataxia had the bright idea to make the End Games match the ultimate match - for the title.
Blake Church: Now we obviously need an estimated eight people to fill said match, so why not make 8 qualifying matches to figure out, who will be in them, right?
Charles State (starts singing): And the wrestlers came in two by two, hoorah, hoorah...
Blake Church: Well, kind of… First ones to kick off the extravaganza are Dick Fury and Freddie Styles. The furious dick has had a somewhat spotty track record in CWF so far, but maybe Freddie Styles will be able to provide him with a little blue pill to last a bit longer this time around.
Charles State: While Styles himself also could use a success story, since he is still wobbling around a bit since the Smokin’ Aces had to give up their titles. Some sources say that Dick might be a good build-up opponent, but nobody should ever underestimate the fury of the Dick!
Blake Church: Speaking of fury, the next two gentlemen definitely are not going to be the party animals that will bring smiles to everybody, unless you are a very, very unusual partygoer, with the Scottish Wargod Bronson Box facing off against the Canadian Rageaholic Xander Haze. Box is coming off a hard fought victory over The Shadow at Evo 25 and is surely looking to build on that momentum, while Haze did lose his match at that show, but has a little side business with P.I. Kreese and Zach that should give him enough fire to continue on.
Charles State: He definitely is one of our fiercest fighters right now and so far he has more been known for his battles with Zach and his new association with Kreese, but in-ring success has eluded him so far. Now against the narcissistic Dick Fury, though, he might finally have a chance, if he can use his self-gloating to his advantage.
Blake Church: Not much gloating is to be expected from our next match, which features two of our most promising newcomers with Lucas Greene and The Ringmaster. Greene is a former champion in HOSTILITY, while The Ringmaster has had a very, hm, memorable entrance last week.
Charles State: Greene has been in the indies for a while now since HOSTILITY’s demise, while dabbling in THC infused shakes, so his return to the big stage is a much anticipated one, on the other hand The Ringmaster is a completely new page in the book of professional wrestling, But he has not come alone, but has a whole Cabinet of Curiosities with him, bringing the Circus to CWF, with all its bells and whistles, so this match will be anything but a boring, generic affair for sure!
Blake Church: A former World champion is up next, trying to go for another shot at his big title, when Duce Jones is meeting up with the former Ouroboros member Revenant. Just like Styles, Jones is trying to find his way right now, post-tag team title, and while the Smokin’ Aces are going to go for these titles again, right now the focus is all on these qualifiers and Revenant is going to be a tough nut to crack.
Charles State: Revenant has a quite sizeable weight advantage and his late affiliation with Elisha’s cult also shows that he is not just a common thug, but that there is something deeper and sinister about him, especially with this...this wizard-like person, maybe Duce will sprout some broccoli from his ears or something.
Blake Church: Now that would be something different, haha.
Charles State: No magic is to be expected from our next match, Eric Dane, part of the latest faction in CWF, the Golden Paradigm, together with Bronson Box and Pete Whealdon, is facing off against another new face in the federation, The American Patriot.
Blake Church: Dane has really left an impression on CWF since he arrived a few weeks ago and he is definitely looking to increase his influence, not just alone, but also with Golden Paradigm, so this group of former Defiance members definitely has to be kept an eye on. And a shot at the big title would definitely be a big boost for him!
Charles State: On the other side The American Patriot, we do not know much about him other than being and bleeding red, white and blue, but what to expect from him in the ring - we’ll have to see.
Blake Church: Next up we are going hardcore! The miraculously healed Jace Valentine is back and he is taking his pent up anger and the unfortunate soul to face him is none other than the Forsaken Demon himself, Dorian Hawkhurst. With everything that Jace has gone through from the betrayal of MJ Flair and his alliance with Ryan Sunset to his spectacular exit saving Caledonia, Jace has a lot to prove, most of all to himself.
Charles State: Dorian on the other hand is the latest addition to the Forsaken and also the only one of them not holding a title belt at the moment. Just like the other Forsaken, it feels as if he has found his space, his spot, so the sky is the limit, but - while he is not a stranger to violent fights, will it be enough against Jace, the Jacehole, one of the most decorated athletes to ever grace the CWF roster?
Blake Church: Two more to go and we are ramping up the action here, because next up we have the Champions’ Ball, the maybe most competitive match of the whole evening!
Charles State: So far we have seen one-on-one matches, this one has four - every single champion CWF has to offer right now! Jarvis King, our Paramount champion is in for one hell of a fight, trying to give the big one another shot, one that he has held before. But nobody was ready for what he is facing.
Blake Church: Ataxia, Mia, The Shadow, three of the four Forsaken!
Charles State: This is probably the by far tightest match to predict, just because of the bundled up power, because they are not champions for nothing and while he potentially will be suffering from it, Commissioner Ataxia’s decision to lump all the champions together, so there is a smaller chance for one of them getting a second belt.
Blake Church: Now what is there to say that is not obvious really?
Charles State: Well, why don’t we ask the Haligonian--
Blake Church: --Haliwhat?
Charles State: Haligonian, as in a person from Halifax.
Blake Church: Ah, you never stop learning...
Charles State: So why don’t we ask the Haligonian himself, Jarvis King.
Blake Church: Jarvis, thanks for joining us. You are part of the Champions' Ball at Evo 26, facing off against every current other champion in CWF. What are your thoughts on the whole setup, even more so since you are facing three of members of the Forsaken?
Jarvis King: You know what? It’s all been done, Blake. It’s another situation where yours truly is thrust into a match where, surprise surprise, the deck is stacked against me. But that’s really besides the point. We’re talking about a match wherein all four competitors are current champions? Now, that sounds like a damn fine outing for the good people of Uniondale. It’s just a shame that this is apparently the best that the CWF has to offer right now.
Now...Jarvis King - the Internet Icon, East Coast Excellence - now that’s obvious class if I do say so myself; but how is it that the likes of Burlap Bob, Me, Myself and Irene, and the lead singer of an Atreyu cover band are the other champions in this company? The deck may be stacked against me, but...well, my opponents aren’t exactly playing with a full 52, if you catch my drift.
Blake Church: When you returned after the whole Solstice controversy and obviously your injury, did you ever think that you would suddenly find yourself as the Paramount champion and potentially more this quickly?
Jarvis King: Yes.
Black Church: Care to elaborate?
Jarvis King: C’mon Blake - what do you want me to say? I am Jarvis King. I’m the Hall of Fame Hallmark. I’m a decorated champion. I’m beloved by millions of CWF fans around the world for one simple reason: I’m good. Damn good. Amongst the best in the history of this company, and maybe even top of the class. I’ve spent too much time trying to pretend otherwise.
Blake Church: Very well. Final question. You have been a CWF staple for many, many years and the federation has seen a lot of changes and new blood, if you look back at the last incarnation and compare it with what we are looking at now, how do you see the progression as a federation?
Jarvis King: Well, let me stop you right there. “Staple” of the CWF? I’m not a staple, Blake.
Blake Church: I’m sorry?
Jarvis King: You should be. A “staple” is Scotty Pippen. Good, certainly - but I’m something more. I’m the franchise player. I’m Jordan. I’m Gretzky. I’m Messi. You asked about what I see as the progression of the CWF? Here it is - I go to Summer Games and win the CWF World Championship - a title that I held with dignity, defended with honor, and gained the respect of the entire wrestling world as I held it. I go on to the biggest show in the CWF calendar, WrestleFest, and in the main event I show the world exactly what Jarvis King is all about - excellence. You can try to deny it, but it’s inevitable - you will Bow Down.
Charles State: Yes, confidence definitely is NOT a problem with the East Coast Excellence, but - will it be enough to overcome the three Forsaken - and will the Forsaken play it fair or are they going to gang up on him - only time will tell...
Blake Church: Three more wrestlers, one more match and this one has a lot of history. MJ Flair. Silas Artoria. Autumn Raven.
Charles State: Former World champion MJ Flair, aiming to walk into the main event at Wrestle Fest at the Madison Square Garden, she is extra motivated for this match and even more so going against the Psychotic Aristocrat, Mr. Downward Spiral himself, Silas Artoria.
Blake Church: The two of them already had a history before Silas committed the cardinal sin of power bombing Tara Robinson through a table, which firmly put a target on his back. And then add to that Silas and Autumn Raven’s history as part of the Coalition and the Harbingers, which went sour, really sour, and you have yourself a highly explosive match-up that could spell doom for at least one of them.
Charles State: The eight winners will all join into the famous End Games at Summer Games, two teams of four battling it out in a cage Survivor Series style, but - there can be only one, even if it means to have to fight your teammates so far. And then the ultimate price, the World Heavyweight championship...
Blake Church: So a LOT is riding on these matches this Tuesday and you can be part of it in Uniondale, New York, and there really is no excuse not to be there or at least on the TV to get all the action!
Charles State: So, what are you doing Tuesday evening?
Blake Church: Watch Evolution 26, nothing else!
Charles State: We hope to be able to welcome you again next week, because this one is going to be a heart attack waiting to happen! I am Charles State and this was CWF’s Church vs. State. Good evening.
Brought to you by:
"The concession stands are now selling those cheap hotel room round soap disks that I have personally blessed for $100’s a bar….AND SINNERS….I suggest you buy one, and use it, because if you think your God wants you in his heaven smelling like a 3am New York City uber ride you got another thing coming."